On Perspective

Right outside my apartment door, there is a balcony overlooking most of Monte Flor which I call the best view on the property (unless you want to hike to the top of the mountain my apartment is built into). I love this spot. In the early mornings as the sun shows its face I can watch the fog in the city a mile away slowly dissipate. If I sit out here very early, I can hear the gate at the end of the driveway creaking as the guard opens it up for the day. The early morning activities are seemingly best seen and heard from this spot. Dogs barking, roosters crowing a late wake-up call, school kids scurrying from their warm houses into the chilly morning air for their walk into town, tuk-tuks (mini taxis) chugging up the road to transport people to work or school, our employees coming to work in groups of 2 or more then hanging out and chatting by the guard house til it's time to clock in. And laughter - I love hearing the laughter of morning greetings! When I first came to live at Monte Flor, all these details were a new routine to get used to. Now, it's normal, it's life. And I'm going to be leaving it - this life, the early morning sounds, the people who have made their way into my heart - in 3 weeks. Three weeks. I've barely been back to this place I call 'home' for 2 months; now time is running out so fast.

kids watching a work project being
completed for their home

In October 2013 - March 2014 I wrote about my family traveling through Mexico to Belize then into Guatemala. During that last week of being here, I blogged about being excited to be going back 'home' for the month of March. I missed 'home' in the States and the people there after being gone for almost 5 months, although I was very excited to be coming back to Guate. shortly after that.
Nine months later, after living and working here for eight months straight, I found myself blogging again about being excited to be going back 'home' to the States for 6 weeks over Christmas and New Year's. Again, I missed where I had grown up calling 'home', my friends, and my family. While I was there, though, I found myself referring to Guatemala as 'home' in my stories and by the end of the 6 weeks was ready to be back.

one of the faces that steal my heart

I knew I was going to be here for only almost 3 months - not a long time compared to living here for over a year. But just how short that time would seem didn't really hit me till I walked into my apartment one day and realized that it was then February already and the days were only getting fuller and busier.

I only have 3 short weeks here - weeks filled with working on the job site with teams and goofing off with the guys on our works crews who always seem to be laughing at or making fun of something; weeks to fill with memories teaching the sweet ladies in our kitchen new recipes while talking about life, God, hopes, and plans; weeks that only hold a few extra days for me to visit families in our Bethany Program one last time with Henry and Gloria, the ones I refer to as my coworkers even when we haven't worked together in a while; weeks that only seem like days to try to prepare myself to say good-bye to the people who have become like family, Rachel, the Pattersons, Ron, Tammy and Rylee, and so many more. I tell them I don't like thinking about it cuz when I do, like this morning, Rachel finds me on my bedroom floor crying.

Henry and Gloria building a
latrine for a Bethany family

Three short weeks. I've been given a gift.

My perspective last year when I blogged about the View from the Mountaintop was that time here seemed forever. A good forever. I was excitedly anticipating the relationships formed, time spent with people, memories made, and lessons learned. But it was all new. Now it's 'home'. Now I wonder if I made a difference. Now as they ask me when I'll be back, I can only say hopefully in a year to visit but I don't know. Now my heart feels like it's being torn.

sharing the Gospel with a family who
just received a new home

The perspective from looking at something as a beginning and then a year later looking at the same something as an ending is so vastly different! I am excited to be moving back to the States, seeing my family and friends, and Lord willing, moving to ND in May sometime to start a new beginning, a new something. But dealing with the end of this something - the here and now - hurts. That's what makes the now so precious.

One of God's greatest gifts to mankind is time. And I've been given the gift of three more weeks in the place I now call 'home.' My prayer each morning is to spend that time wisely as an amazing gift I will never get back. While conflicting emotions rage, my soul has found peace - peace in the hands of the Giver of time. 'Home' will change often as long as I'm here on this earth. But one day. One day, time will be no more! But until then, what am I doing right now? 

if eyes are the windows to the soul, it is only common-sense to realize
that what catches your eye is what you treasure as beautiful