I like living a life filled with charts, criteria, and check-lists. These are things that make me feel safe. Running down lists and checking off boxes gives me a great feeling of accomplishment, seeing right in front of me that I succeeded in something that day.
As you can imagine, I tend to apply my charts and check-lists to all aspects of my life - marriage, ministry, friendships, relationship with Christ. I mentally write out my little list of criteria for what it means to be a good wife, a good missionary, a good friend, a good Christian, and once (in my mind) I acheive that standard, I raise the bar and keep on going.
Please don't misunderstand me in thinking it's wrong to challenge oneself and set standards that keep us accountable, but...if we get to the point where we think we've figured out God, in my experience, we can expect Him to chuckle, bring something else our way, and show us just how mistaken that thinking is - especially when applying it to our prayer life.
Now, do I think we shouldn't use strategies and charts in our prayer life? Absolutely not! In fact, I think we don't use them enough.
Miguel and I have personally had many, many prayers answered simply by applying a discipline in the way we pray. For example, the home we live in currently was nothing short of an answer to a long list of requests in our prayers.
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| At friends' wedding in May. |
A few months before we got married, Miguel found an apartment halfway between where I lived at the time and where we currently live in Higuey. We knew we would be moving to Higuey that summer (in fact, ended up moving only a month after our wedding) so while he was working, he would keep his eyes open for a place we could rent. Between the two of us, we had a very specific list of what we wanted.
- At the top of that list, even though we had no plans to buy a place or live in one place permanantly, our greatest desire, knowing it was part of what God was calling us to, was to have a home where we could host people - coaches, youth, friends, strangers passing through, family. Whether just to enjoy a home-cooked meal, spend the night, or even temporarily live with us, we wanted to be able to open our doors into an atmosphere of welcome and encouragement.
- For Miguel, that meant a house not an apartment. He despised living in the apartment building we spent our first month of marriage in. He had lived there several months by himself and it just felt too lonely after having grown up on a street in a town where everyone knew eachother. And along with the house, he also wanted an outdoor patio area since we'd have a dog running around to keep the place safe. And... it should have some fruit trees. I threw in the request of having it be large enough to plant at least a small garden - and having some grass would be nice. I love sticking my feet in grass (pebbles and cement just aren't very friendly to bare feet) but it can be hard to find around here.
- For myself, it meant having at least two bedrooms and a decent sized kitchen. The bedrooms request was obvious. The kitchen request was practical because Dominican kitchens in general are small, sometimes with only enough room for one person to move around in. I also specifically requested a place that had reasonably dependable electricity since most of my work is done on my computer via internet.
- We both also wanted barred windows and doors, especially after my computer had gotten stolen out of my former apartment through the windows. And really, really wanted a quiet, reputable neighborhood without worry of music blaring from the corner stores at all hours of the day and night (a very common occurrence around here!)
- And of course, all this had to be within our, pretty low, budget!
- We both also wanted barred windows and doors, especially after my computer had gotten stolen out of my former apartment through the windows. And really, really wanted a quiet, reputable neighborhood without worry of music blaring from the corner stores at all hours of the day and night (a very common occurrence around here!)
- And of course, all this had to be within our, pretty low, budget!
At one point, about 2 months into looking (again, Miguel had been keeping his eyes open even before we got married), we added up all the places we had looked at - apartments and houses in every shape and style - and it came to a grand total of 22 places. Of the 22 there was 1 house and 1 apartment that would maybe be ok if we were willing to let go of some of our criteria. We were frustrated but kept looking, confident that God had the perfect place for us.
This brought us to the day that we had a conversation, discussing all this, with our pastors; they referred us to the realtor who had helped them find their place, and we were able to still meet with him that day. After giving him the list of what we were looking for, he told us he had 2 places he could show us right away. On the way to what was going to be the first of the two places, he pulled up to this house that he said made him think of us but wasn't going to be on his list to show that day.
As soon as we saw it, before even getting out of the car, Miguel and I looked at eachother and both said, "This is it - this is our house!" It was painted two-tone orange and the patio wasn't cleaned up, but that didn't matter. Cleaning and painting would be easy.
It actually ended up being a house that the realtor's company wouldn't be getting the keys to, from the landlady, until the following day and we were the first clients to see it. No one had lived in it for 2 years and the landlady, who lived in Puerto Rico, was trying to sell it. The realtors convinced her to allow them to rent it out for her in the meantime so that it would remain lived in and not fall apart.
The front had a patch of grass that was nicely shaded by the big tree on the corner. We walked around to the back to find two huge mango trees, a cherry tree, and plenty of space to create a garden. Through the windows, I saw the largest kitchen that could possibly fit into this size home and to this day we joke that Miguel said yes to the patio and I said yes to the kitchen without caring about the rest of the place! It ended up meeting every. single. one of the criteria listed above, plus a few more, and in the year since we've lived here, we have had minimal upkeep expenses (bonus blessing).
Our house has since been used to host many, many people. This past month has been no exception, with hosting multiple dinners (like when new missionaries moved into a town close by or when a coach currently seeking more spiritually wanted to bring his girlfriend over for deeper conversation on what Christianity means), a few overnight guests coming through town (the most recent just left this morning), and friends coming from the States to spend a week with us. And even though we still don't have any idea of how long we'll be here, we praise God for His provision in what has really served as a valuable ministry space for this season in life.
Answered prayers such as these have added up over time, and I reached a point in my prayer life that I kind of assumed I could keep making lists and expecting the same results. So when Anti Trafficking Bureau (ATB) approached us to invite me to join their team (read more on about those details in Come What May), I assumed I could take the same approach - lay out my list before God, do a little fasting, do some intentional praying, have a few conversations with Miguel about logistics, and, wala! get our answer within our timeline.
Again, I don't think that approach is wrong. But at this point, the approach I was taking came out of a prideful place. I thought I had the solution to resolving all things and if it didn't work, then it wouldn't be my fault.
A week went past and no answer. I had no peace about saying "yes," and zero peace about saying "no." So, I talked to Miguel again to see what he was thinking or if maybe God was telling him something that I wasn't hearing. I was following my checklist, so by this time someone should know what we were supposed to do. I didn't know, so obviously Miguel, as the spiritual head of our home, should at least have an inclination, right? But he didn't.
So, then I got frustrated. Frustrated at God and at my husband. And I started casting blame. Obviously (from my viewpoint) it wasn't my fault that we had no clue what our answer was supposed to be because I was doing all the right things. It must be Miguel's fault. He must not be doing his part correctly. And it was also God's fault for not cooperating with my little strategy plan. After all, I was being reasonable; I wasn't being stubborn in asking for a "yes" answer - I was ok with a "no" answer if now was not the time. That must mean I was being humble in my asking, right?
The result of this blame casting was a tension in our marriage that we hadn't ever had before. One evening, after arguing about what to do, I told Miguel I was tired of this - we rarely argue and the tension was taking over our home. I didn't have peace either way, "yes" or "no," and if he didn't know what we were supposed to do, I was just going to tell them "no." At least that would take care of making a decision and we could get past this.
"But do you have peace that saying 'no' is the answer God is actually giving us?" he asked.
Ouch.
My pride in my lists and strategies had brought me so far, that I didn't care anymore what God's answer was and instead was willing to create my own answer. My problem with saying "yes" is that Miguel couldn't go down my little checklist and say that every one of my expectations in how the answer was supposed to come about was met. Instead, he was completely willing to have me join the ATB team and see where God would take us without fully knowing how it would work out long term. He was willing to take a step of faith.
But was I?
A call to faith. That was my answer. Faith in God speaking through my husband and faith in my husband's advice.
I texted my used-to-be-former boss to let him know that, yes, I was on board; but sending that text was a shaky step of faith. I was still so uncomfortable to step outside the box I had created this decision to fall into that it took several weeks before I truly surrendered and allowed God to give me peace to walk in the "yes."
Since then, my position with ATB has been officially named Executive Assitant, meaning for now, I report to my used-to-be-former boss (the cofounder of ATB) and assist him and the director (the other cofounder) with the large project of setting up an assessment facility for all victims of human trafficking and sexual exploitation, along with other little details in the administrative department such as translation, liasing with legal processes, etc.
As time goes on, we'll be including more about the ministry and work of ATB while continuing to include FCA ministry details.
In the meantime, we want everyone to know that basically nothing has changed:
1. I am still in the same position with FCA DR as administrative assistant and mission trips coordinator. As of now, I'll be continuing full-time this year. ATB is an additional role that will develope with time.
2. Miguel is still doing what he's always been doing, including coach discipleship and leading visiting team trips.
3. We also continue to be heavily involved in our local church, as I've briefly touched on in other posts and updates.
4. Our fundraising remains the same.
We are excited for new opportunities for ministry and to be able to be used in multiple ways to spread the love of Jesus and share the Gospel, individually and as a couple.
If you have any questions, please, please let us know and we will answer them!
"When we take the talents God has given us and hold them with open hands, knowing they really belong to Him and not us, then we are able to truly live a life of full potential, making an impact for eternity."
This brought us to the day that we had a conversation, discussing all this, with our pastors; they referred us to the realtor who had helped them find their place, and we were able to still meet with him that day. After giving him the list of what we were looking for, he told us he had 2 places he could show us right away. On the way to what was going to be the first of the two places, he pulled up to this house that he said made him think of us but wasn't going to be on his list to show that day.
 |
| Current picture |
It actually ended up being a house that the realtor's company wouldn't be getting the keys to, from the landlady, until the following day and we were the first clients to see it. No one had lived in it for 2 years and the landlady, who lived in Puerto Rico, was trying to sell it. The realtors convinced her to allow them to rent it out for her in the meantime so that it would remain lived in and not fall apart.
The front had a patch of grass that was nicely shaded by the big tree on the corner. We walked around to the back to find two huge mango trees, a cherry tree, and plenty of space to create a garden. Through the windows, I saw the largest kitchen that could possibly fit into this size home and to this day we joke that Miguel said yes to the patio and I said yes to the kitchen without caring about the rest of the place! It ended up meeting every. single. one of the criteria listed above, plus a few more, and in the year since we've lived here, we have had minimal upkeep expenses (bonus blessing).
Our house has since been used to host many, many people. This past month has been no exception, with hosting multiple dinners (like when new missionaries moved into a town close by or when a coach currently seeking more spiritually wanted to bring his girlfriend over for deeper conversation on what Christianity means), a few overnight guests coming through town (the most recent just left this morning), and friends coming from the States to spend a week with us. And even though we still don't have any idea of how long we'll be here, we praise God for His provision in what has really served as a valuable ministry space for this season in life.
Answered prayers such as these have added up over time, and I reached a point in my prayer life that I kind of assumed I could keep making lists and expecting the same results. So when Anti Trafficking Bureau (ATB) approached us to invite me to join their team (read more on about those details in Come What May), I assumed I could take the same approach - lay out my list before God, do a little fasting, do some intentional praying, have a few conversations with Miguel about logistics, and, wala! get our answer within our timeline.
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| ATB team and partners |
A week went past and no answer. I had no peace about saying "yes," and zero peace about saying "no." So, I talked to Miguel again to see what he was thinking or if maybe God was telling him something that I wasn't hearing. I was following my checklist, so by this time someone should know what we were supposed to do. I didn't know, so obviously Miguel, as the spiritual head of our home, should at least have an inclination, right? But he didn't.
So, then I got frustrated. Frustrated at God and at my husband. And I started casting blame. Obviously (from my viewpoint) it wasn't my fault that we had no clue what our answer was supposed to be because I was doing all the right things. It must be Miguel's fault. He must not be doing his part correctly. And it was also God's fault for not cooperating with my little strategy plan. After all, I was being reasonable; I wasn't being stubborn in asking for a "yes" answer - I was ok with a "no" answer if now was not the time. That must mean I was being humble in my asking, right?
The result of this blame casting was a tension in our marriage that we hadn't ever had before. One evening, after arguing about what to do, I told Miguel I was tired of this - we rarely argue and the tension was taking over our home. I didn't have peace either way, "yes" or "no," and if he didn't know what we were supposed to do, I was just going to tell them "no." At least that would take care of making a decision and we could get past this.
"But do you have peace that saying 'no' is the answer God is actually giving us?" he asked.
Ouch.
My pride in my lists and strategies had brought me so far, that I didn't care anymore what God's answer was and instead was willing to create my own answer. My problem with saying "yes" is that Miguel couldn't go down my little checklist and say that every one of my expectations in how the answer was supposed to come about was met. Instead, he was completely willing to have me join the ATB team and see where God would take us without fully knowing how it would work out long term. He was willing to take a step of faith.
But was I?
A call to faith. That was my answer. Faith in God speaking through my husband and faith in my husband's advice.
I texted my used-to-be-former boss to let him know that, yes, I was on board; but sending that text was a shaky step of faith. I was still so uncomfortable to step outside the box I had created this decision to fall into that it took several weeks before I truly surrendered and allowed God to give me peace to walk in the "yes."
Since then, my position with ATB has been officially named Executive Assitant, meaning for now, I report to my used-to-be-former boss (the cofounder of ATB) and assist him and the director (the other cofounder) with the large project of setting up an assessment facility for all victims of human trafficking and sexual exploitation, along with other little details in the administrative department such as translation, liasing with legal processes, etc.
 |
| At a recent build project with our latest team. Miguel decided to hide his face behind the palm branch at that exact moment. |
As time goes on, we'll be including more about the ministry and work of ATB while continuing to include FCA ministry details.
In the meantime, we want everyone to know that basically nothing has changed:
1. I am still in the same position with FCA DR as administrative assistant and mission trips coordinator. As of now, I'll be continuing full-time this year. ATB is an additional role that will develope with time.
2. Miguel is still doing what he's always been doing, including coach discipleship and leading visiting team trips.
3. We also continue to be heavily involved in our local church, as I've briefly touched on in other posts and updates.
4. Our fundraising remains the same.
We are excited for new opportunities for ministry and to be able to be used in multiple ways to spread the love of Jesus and share the Gospel, individually and as a couple.
If you have any questions, please, please let us know and we will answer them!
"When we take the talents God has given us and hold them with open hands, knowing they really belong to Him and not us, then we are able to truly live a life of full potential, making an impact for eternity."
