"Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Other people get to go home, but I have multiple homes and it seems like I'm always gonna miss one of them." - this while sobbing in my husband's arms.
I had spent a flying weekend to celebrate my best friend's marriage to my cousin, and Miguel hadn't been able to go along. I LOVED being with my extended family and so many other people I love and miss and just don't get to see enough, but there just wasn't enough time to spend with everyone. It was like taking a sip of the most delicious, steaming chicken noodle soup on a freezing winter day, and then having the cup yanked out of my hands before the warm brew had even reached my empty stomach. And at the same time, I missed my husband so badly. We spend some weekends apart while he's in university, but this was a life-changing event for two of my favorite people and he wasn't there to celebrate with me.
About every 4-6 months, there are a few days or a week or more that this dreaded feeling of mis-placement and insignificance and void settle in. It's times like those that I can't help but wish that I could be in two (or three or five!) places at once. One of the largest sacrifices as a missionary is family. It does cause us to treasure every minute with them more.
That same weekend marked 6 months since my youngest brother's death. As I stood over his grave for the first time since the funeral, it finally seemed to kick in that I'm never going to see him again this side of heaven. It was tough - but also good. Living life away and slightly disconnected from everything that keeps on going in the U.S makes it easier to ignore or push aside the grief. The most recent learning curve God has been taking me on is the necessity and ability to be open-hearted. In this case, to allow the grief of the loss of my brother and the sadness of missing family and friends to have a part in my heart.
Our natural tendency is to block, ignore, or get rid of anything that impedes our happiness. But there is a reason that Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn..." why? "Because they will be comforted." The comfort and peace in allowing God to take our tears and wash our broken hearts in His presence has a way of drawing us nearer to His heart.
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Ministry takes all the time and energy and effort as a business, but instead of dealing with a product, we're dealing with souls.
I'm a light-skinned American woman in a dark-skinned world, which is as good as having the words "WATCH ME" written across my forehead. Miguel, at 6 feet, 8 inches tall is about a head (and shoulder) taller than anyone around him, which seems to be cause for complete
strangers to stop him in the street and ask to take a picture with him! Anywhere we go, there are eyes on us. Whether in the presence of complete strangers, in a group of adolescents, or in a conversation with a coach at our dinner table, there's always an intrigue and question of why we are here when we could be living in a country with a lot more conveniences and an easier way of life, why we do what we're doing instead of seeking material success. It opens the doors to many great conversations and opportunities to share Christ's love - but it also gets emotionally draining.
Again, God has been teaching me the necessity of open-heartedness. It's so easy to give someone the "death stare" when I hear my husband called the equivalent of a gold digger (being white automatically means I must have money, therefore the reason Miguel married me is for a way to get to the U.S. so he can make money).
Or to make a snide, sarcastic remark when someone wants to charge me $100 for a used bookshelf when I know where I can get new one for half that price (again, because being white must mean I have a lot of money). It's become normal for me to wait in the car while Miguel goes and grabs fresh produce from a road-side stand because of how coomon the above response is.
But each one of those people has a soul. Every one needs Christ. I can either ignore everyone who treats us unfairly or in any other discriminating way, OR I can use that opportunity to share a smile, kind word, and reflect the love of Christ in the simple ways through these small daily opportunities.
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On Saturday we finally purchased the last piece of furniture for our house!
After almost two months, the bookshelf will allow me to finally unpack that last suitcase full of books and add the final touches to turning our house into a home.
We've been so blessed by this little two bedroom place. It has a cherry tree which keeps us well supplied and few big mango trees in the back with mangos the size of a paper plate. There is patio space for some raised beds once we finally get around to making them :D Our dog has enough space to run around and there's always shade that helps the fans keep the inside cooled down. These things seem so simple, but for a country girl who's lived in apartments for the past two years, it was a welcome option! We hung a windchime on our front gate and can hear it during the night, a constant reminder of how close God is.
One of the many ministry steps we've been taking as we've been finally settling into more of a routine, is more one-on-one time with the coaches. Beginning this week, Monday evenings are our hosting nights. Last night, we sat around the dinner table until 11:00, the last half hour with only a flashlight since the electricity went out, discussing the awesomeness of grace. I always marvel at how God uses us as His mouthpiece!
I am also making it a priority to take one day a week to spend some time at the safe home where I used to work full-time. There are currently seven girls in our care and each one is so special! It's an immense privilege to be able to continue to play a small part in the incredible work the team continues to carry out. Please be praying for them and for more staff to come. The core team is strong but they do need more help to be able to go deeper without running into so much burnout.
A huge prayer request that you'll probably hear repeated several times in the next few months is for the approval of a visitor's visa for Miguel. We are planning a 10 day trip to the U.S. in September to visit, hopefully, many of you! The visa application is submitted and paid for and his interview appointment is set for two weeks before our tentative departure date. On this trip we are planning to travel to several states to share more ministry insights AND have a wedding reception in MI for our friends and family stateside. The tentative date for the reception is Sept. 8th, although we are still keeping the 9th open (it will depend on flight availabilities). By the next blog post, I'll have an itinerary completed for that trip, so that you all know where we'll be. We want to see as many of you as possible!! And if you are interested in an official invitation for the wedding reception, let us know. I will post a general invitation soon!
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Don't forget to head over to our Contact & Support page to get in touch with us and get involved with the ministry God has called us to.
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| How I love these people! |
About every 4-6 months, there are a few days or a week or more that this dreaded feeling of mis-placement and insignificance and void settle in. It's times like those that I can't help but wish that I could be in two (or three or five!) places at once. One of the largest sacrifices as a missionary is family. It does cause us to treasure every minute with them more.
That same weekend marked 6 months since my youngest brother's death. As I stood over his grave for the first time since the funeral, it finally seemed to kick in that I'm never going to see him again this side of heaven. It was tough - but also good. Living life away and slightly disconnected from everything that keeps on going in the U.S makes it easier to ignore or push aside the grief. The most recent learning curve God has been taking me on is the necessity and ability to be open-hearted. In this case, to allow the grief of the loss of my brother and the sadness of missing family and friends to have a part in my heart.
 |
| How I miss his goofy self :'( |
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Ministry takes all the time and energy and effort as a business, but instead of dealing with a product, we're dealing with souls.
I'm a light-skinned American woman in a dark-skinned world, which is as good as having the words "WATCH ME" written across my forehead. Miguel, at 6 feet, 8 inches tall is about a head (and shoulder) taller than anyone around him, which seems to be cause for complete
 |
| Miguel is one of the most Christ-like people I have ever known. I'm usually the one needing to learn these lessons ;) |
Again, God has been teaching me the necessity of open-heartedness. It's so easy to give someone the "death stare" when I hear my husband called the equivalent of a gold digger (being white automatically means I must have money, therefore the reason Miguel married me is for a way to get to the U.S. so he can make money).
 |
| Precious souls - everyone needs the love of Christ! |
But each one of those people has a soul. Every one needs Christ. I can either ignore everyone who treats us unfairly or in any other discriminating way, OR I can use that opportunity to share a smile, kind word, and reflect the love of Christ in the simple ways through these small daily opportunities.
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 |
| "The whole earth is full of His glory" |
After almost two months, the bookshelf will allow me to finally unpack that last suitcase full of books and add the final touches to turning our house into a home.
We've been so blessed by this little two bedroom place. It has a cherry tree which keeps us well supplied and few big mango trees in the back with mangos the size of a paper plate. There is patio space for some raised beds once we finally get around to making them :D Our dog has enough space to run around and there's always shade that helps the fans keep the inside cooled down. These things seem so simple, but for a country girl who's lived in apartments for the past two years, it was a welcome option! We hung a windchime on our front gate and can hear it during the night, a constant reminder of how close God is.
One of the many ministry steps we've been taking as we've been finally settling into more of a routine, is more one-on-one time with the coaches. Beginning this week, Monday evenings are our hosting nights. Last night, we sat around the dinner table until 11:00, the last half hour with only a flashlight since the electricity went out, discussing the awesomeness of grace. I always marvel at how God uses us as His mouthpiece!
 |
| We loved the chance to hang out with "my" girls and get to do a beach day with them recently |
A huge prayer request that you'll probably hear repeated several times in the next few months is for the approval of a visitor's visa for Miguel. We are planning a 10 day trip to the U.S. in September to visit, hopefully, many of you! The visa application is submitted and paid for and his interview appointment is set for two weeks before our tentative departure date. On this trip we are planning to travel to several states to share more ministry insights AND have a wedding reception in MI for our friends and family stateside. The tentative date for the reception is Sept. 8th, although we are still keeping the 9th open (it will depend on flight availabilities). By the next blog post, I'll have an itinerary completed for that trip, so that you all know where we'll be. We want to see as many of you as possible!! And if you are interested in an official invitation for the wedding reception, let us know. I will post a general invitation soon!
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Don't forget to head over to our Contact & Support page to get in touch with us and get involved with the ministry God has called us to.
