Focus

Yesterday I learned such a valuable lesson. 

I like to have things figured out. It's almost like an incessant need to have everything figured out and resolved in order to move on to the next thing. So, of course, my weak spot where the doubts constantly creep in, is what will happen in the future. 

Sometimes, I almost pride myself on looking into the future so far - 2 or 3 years down the road, once my initial contract with Destiny Rescue is up - what will happen then? What kind of opportunities will open up? Will I have new desires then or will the passions I have right now only grow? Of course I go back to the usual promises of God knows the plans He has for me and it is good; the promises of the Counselor, the Spirit of wisdom, etc; how I need to trust Him, how I can grow in more faith, etc, etc. All good stuff. But then it hit me.

What about 5 years or 10 or 25 or even 50 years? What about then? Then, this small little window of 2 or 3 years will seem like a dot. And how am I using that time? Am I using it to build a solid foundation, to grow in priciples that will reap benefits 10, 25, and 50 years down the road? Or will I allow my mind to be consumed with worries and live in a place of shaky doubt until the questions I think are important and oh so vital get answered?

It was a great reminder! And one that can be applied to every part of life. It's so easy to get caught up in the short term worries - when will final approval for the house come through? how much longer? what about now? here?

Yesterday I met with the pastor of the church here and his wife to talk about a girl they currently have in their care. She has major anger issues and when she has outbursts sometimes gets very violent (the psychologists here aren't very well trained and they say they can't help her so they took her to a psychiatrist who put her on tranquilizers). They had to take her out of the home she was in last week because she could endanger the other girls. Pastor and his wife called me up to see if I could try working with her using the training we will be using with our own girls coming into our care. Of course I gladly stepped in, spoke with her for about an hr, and it looks like I'll be able to start spending time with her by the end of this week. Anyway, I was thinking of this young teenager who seemingly has her whole life ahead of her but who has been through more than most American people twice her age have ever encountered. Meeting her and beginning the process of getting to know her and work with her reminded me of why I'm here - not even just here in the DR, but why I'm here on this earth - to love God with all my heart and soul and to love on and serve the people around me through that unconditional love. I wanna make every minute count, to learn how to live with even more freedom, because 10, 25, and 50 years down the road I have no idea where I'll be at or where she'll be at but if I choose to live in that shaky territory of worry and allow doubts to distract my focus it will take something away from her and from the next person that God place in my path.

Yesterday, I was reminded to take the focus off myself, point it back to God, and start thinking more about the people around me again. 

It's easy to lose focus, little by little, especially when we wait, then wait again, only to wait some more. But it's no excuse to let live slide by and only live it with half a teaspoon of passion.

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

The Waiting Game

The house is completely finished with repairs and ready to have people live in it! Exciting! The down side is that right now our house moms pretty much have nothing to do while we wait, and wait. Our goal of having the house done in January happened, but it's not open yet since we still haven't gotten the green light from child services that allows us to take in girls.

The beginning of last week, we learned that the lawyer from child services who was helping us get all our paperwork in order for approval is no longer working, due to other circumstances. Our lawyer who was helping us with other legal affairs before December had surgery done right before Christmas break and was on medical leave until last week. It was pretty cool seeing how God orchestrated the transition so smoothly. Our lawyer is super good at what she does and has a great heart to see this process go through, and she's been on top of everything since we met with her late last week and debriefed her on where we were at in the process with the first lawyer. We found out that a few papers were overlooked, so it will probably take until late next week to obtain those, but she's pretty confident we'll be able to head into child services headquarters by the end of next week to get their final approval and a date set for the home inspection.
We're so close - yet it seems like we've been saying that for a while already.

It's been hard to know what to write about these last few weeks because, while I keep busy everyday with constant paperwork, translating, and internal processes, externally we've been playing the waiting game. But through my sister's wise words, God reminded me a few days ago of how important it is to take this time to focus on the things to be thankful for such as:
~ a huge wonderful, beautiful safe house ready and waiting to welcome each precious girl who will be calling it home
~ time - to breath, to get more plugged into the local church and community
~ our staff - a guard with a deep rich voice who sings worship songs while cleaning the yard and a heart to do nothing but serve his Savior, two house moms (or caretakers) who cheerfully go about setting up the house and come up with new ideas every day of things they'll be able to do with the girls once the home is approved, my bosses who are beyond incredible in patience and example of what it means to listen to God, and an indispensable fellow personal assitant who is able to do things I can't or have no clue about (and always, constantly is making us laugh!).
~ connections with more ministries and a group of friends that came from attending a four-day conference two weeks ago - I'd been praying for a group of friends to connect with and although we're scattered throughout the island and didn't know eachother before that conference, we're staying in touch through chat groups and already planning a weekend of camping in the mountains around Easter time.

God has continued to lead us so clearly to the correct connections in the departments we will be working so closely with. Our program is different from anything set up in the Dominican right now, so we're breaking some new ground, which could easily be a whole lot more complicated without the right people on our side. It seems like each time we crest a hill and say, "This is it - this is so exactly where we should be." God brings one more connection and opens a whole new field of possibility ahead of us. It's exciting! And while I sit here writing about it I wonder at my own little narrow mindedness and tendency to be so impatient!

While our hearts may be full and ready to burst with anticipation and desire to see precious souls find healing, I keep thinking about how much fuller God's heart must be. The Father, who sees each precious life He created suffering every day and going through abuse every night...how full His heart must be.
I pray for a heart like His.
And I pray for His will to be done.