Focus

Yesterday I learned such a valuable lesson. 

I like to have things figured out. It's almost like an incessant need to have everything figured out and resolved in order to move on to the next thing. So, of course, my weak spot where the doubts constantly creep in, is what will happen in the future. 

Sometimes, I almost pride myself on looking into the future so far - 2 or 3 years down the road, once my initial contract with Destiny Rescue is up - what will happen then? What kind of opportunities will open up? Will I have new desires then or will the passions I have right now only grow? Of course I go back to the usual promises of God knows the plans He has for me and it is good; the promises of the Counselor, the Spirit of wisdom, etc; how I need to trust Him, how I can grow in more faith, etc, etc. All good stuff. But then it hit me.

What about 5 years or 10 or 25 or even 50 years? What about then? Then, this small little window of 2 or 3 years will seem like a dot. And how am I using that time? Am I using it to build a solid foundation, to grow in priciples that will reap benefits 10, 25, and 50 years down the road? Or will I allow my mind to be consumed with worries and live in a place of shaky doubt until the questions I think are important and oh so vital get answered?

It was a great reminder! And one that can be applied to every part of life. It's so easy to get caught up in the short term worries - when will final approval for the house come through? how much longer? what about now? here?

Yesterday I met with the pastor of the church here and his wife to talk about a girl they currently have in their care. She has major anger issues and when she has outbursts sometimes gets very violent (the psychologists here aren't very well trained and they say they can't help her so they took her to a psychiatrist who put her on tranquilizers). They had to take her out of the home she was in last week because she could endanger the other girls. Pastor and his wife called me up to see if I could try working with her using the training we will be using with our own girls coming into our care. Of course I gladly stepped in, spoke with her for about an hr, and it looks like I'll be able to start spending time with her by the end of this week. Anyway, I was thinking of this young teenager who seemingly has her whole life ahead of her but who has been through more than most American people twice her age have ever encountered. Meeting her and beginning the process of getting to know her and work with her reminded me of why I'm here - not even just here in the DR, but why I'm here on this earth - to love God with all my heart and soul and to love on and serve the people around me through that unconditional love. I wanna make every minute count, to learn how to live with even more freedom, because 10, 25, and 50 years down the road I have no idea where I'll be at or where she'll be at but if I choose to live in that shaky territory of worry and allow doubts to distract my focus it will take something away from her and from the next person that God place in my path.

Yesterday, I was reminded to take the focus off myself, point it back to God, and start thinking more about the people around me again. 

It's easy to lose focus, little by little, especially when we wait, then wait again, only to wait some more. But it's no excuse to let live slide by and only live it with half a teaspoon of passion.

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31