I'll launch into all this by first explaining why we made the decision to give birth where we did.
The Dominican Republic has frequently been at the top for c-section rates worldwide. The public hospitals will mostly do vaginal deliveries because the cost is lower, but in many cases, their services and set-up is not very patient friendly. The private clinics are much more comfortable and where most people with insurance will go, but anything even slightly veering away from perfect with often be an excuse to push a c-section. Because of this, I don't personally know many Dominican women who have given birth vaginally. There is currently a lack of education around natural birth and some women will even elect c-sections to avoid the pain of labor. Because of this, neither Miguel nor I were very comfortable with the care options in our town and the place we would've been comfortable at was a 3 hour drive away. My preferences are also highly for the midwife model of care vs. doctor and hospital and that isn't even an option at this point in the DR, that I know of.
We have the added factor of filing paperwork for dual citizenship for our children. Paperwork alone makes it easier for the rest of our children's lives if they are born on American soil. So, after talking to other missionary couples (in the DR and other countries), we chose to go to the States to deliver at least our first child and will likely do the same for any more children that may join us in the future.
A few months before getting pregnant, we had already discussed all the ins and outs of birthing options, including potentially doing a home birth in MI. Miguel wasn't quite comfortable with the idea of a home birth for our first one, although he did tell me to choose what I'm most comfortable with. So, when my sister, G, told us she was going to start working at a birthing center in OH that summer, we breathed a sigh of relief and settled on that as our number one option.
When I got pregnant in November, G put me in contact with M.A., the head midwife with the attached midwifery group, and we went from there.
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August 8, 2019 - our EDD (estimated due date). The story should start there, or the day before, but let me back up to early July to give a bit of background.
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July 4.
My parents had been visiting us in the DR for around 2 weeks. I needed to head stateside 4-6 weeks before my EDD, so my parents came down the end of June for their first visit since our wedding and stayed for 10 days. I was then able to fly up to MI on the 4th with them instead of doing the trip alone. We were originally going to fly to OH, leave my stuff with my sister, then head to MI with her for my baby shower that weekend. But, a storm delayed our connecting flight to OH until the next day, so they booked us a flight to MI that same evening instead and my sister just drove up by herself for the baby shower.
July 9.
We squeezed myself, my luggage and the baby gifts, my sister, and her daughter into her car and headed the 5 hours to OH where I waited out the next 4 weeks for Miguel to arrive. Originally, he was going to fly in on August 8 (we basically relied on the stats that first babies go late), but thankfully some ministry scheduling changed and made it possible for him to fly up a week earlier.
Rest of July.
I regularly visited my midwives and chiropractor as baby shifted and turned me into a lumbering cow.
July 30.
Miguel arrived safe and sound to Cleveland airport! Since the schedule change hadn't happened until right before I flew up, in my head, once Miguel got there it was time for baby to come. So, the next few days, we took some maternity pics, went a few places, and in general felt like we were going a week overdue.
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August 7 - last chiropractic and midwifery appointments.
The chiropractor said he had to adjust me a little differently and we thought it was likely due to the baby re-shifting that week. We both said we hoped we wouldn't see eachother again before the baby was born!
At my midwifery appointment, M.A. did my check-up. Every time I had a check-up with my Dominican Dr., I'd sent an update to M.A. and scanned any test results when there were any. She was graciously available to chat any time. One time I had slightly high blood pressure and she provided me with more extensive research and information that my Dr. ever offered. This all made me very confidant of our decision to be in the care of the midwife group.
I had gotten checked at the last two appointments and seemed to be dilating about a cm a week. That day, I was at a stretchy 3 and 85% effacement, so we went ahead with a membrane sweep/cervical massage when she suggested doing one. The sweep wasn't uncomfortable for me like I had heard it could be and my bag of waters was already so low that she stopped early to avoid breaking it. They sent us home with instructions to keep moving for the next 24 hours to increase our chances of success.
I had a little bit of spotting that evening but nothing a panty liner couldn't handle. Miguel and I went for a walk after dinner and before heading to bed with plans to get up early, before the heat set in, to go for another walk.
August 8 - EDD
7:30 AM found us out circling the cemetery next to G's house again and making plans for other things I could do that day. Remember, I already felt like I was a week overdue with Miguel having come up a week earlier than originally planned, so I was just at the point of being done with pregnancy. The possibility of going another week was enough to make me tear up, grab a push mower, and head out to mow the lawn, determined to do everything in my power to stay active and keep moving!
At this point in pregnancy I wasn't eating a lot at a time, or even a lot in general (no room!) and I was battling what I dubbed late-term-pregnancy-insomnia. I'd only sleep a few hours at a time during the night, wake for an hour or so, and sleep a few more hours - it must be the body's way of prepping for the newborn sleep stage. I tried taking a nap that day but apparently the walks, mowing lawn, and helping clean house wasn't tiring enough to get me more than a half hour of sleep before 6 PM dinner (last time I ate that day).
I lost bits of mucus every time I went to the bathroom all throughout the day and just generally felt uncomfortable. But, there wasn't enough change for me to recommend my mom make the trip down before the weekend, which had me a bit disheartened.
I kept a pregnancy journal. It's something I would love to keep doing for any future pregnancies as well, but I know realistically it might only get done with the first one and I didn't want to regret not doing it. That evening, around 11, I updated it with the above details and wrote, "unless this baby is born in the next hour, he'll officially be overdue."
An hour later, just as I was finally at the point of dozing off, the first contraction hit.
August 9 - Baby Coco is born
During my pregnancy, I had done a deep search for a real description for how contractions felt, because I didn't want to miss the first one and go into labor unsure of whether or not it was the real thing. The best one I found described exactly what that first contraction at midnight felt to me - like a bad period cramp that starts in the front and wraps around the back, lingering then fading in the lower back.
Since I hadn't slept much that day, I stayed in bed, trying to doze off again to get some rest before full-blow labor set in. For the first bit, they came about every 10 minutes and kept getting stronger, often enough and strong enough that half an hour in, I moved out to the couch to be able to time them and work through them better without disturbing Miguel - sadly waving good-bye to the possibility of sleep.
1 - I messaged G just to let her know my contractions were about 5 min. apart and had been going for an hour, in case she woke up and checked her phone.
1:30 - the intensity of the contractions were bad enough that I paused on the steps to work through one on my way upstairs to wake up G. She told me to get a bath going; the water would slow them down if it was false labor or likely make them more intense if it was real. The water was soothing but it definitely ramped things up!
An hour later, I got out to have G check me and move downstairs to wake up Miguel and try using a labor ball. I was around 4 cm or a bit more with a bulging bag.
3 - Miguel was awake and getting some stuff together. G was in touch with the birthing center, giving a progress update. I had changed into labor clothes, put in a large pad in case my water broke, and sat on the labor ball groaning during contractions that came every 3 and a half min. or so. At this point, they lasted anywhere from 30 sec. to a little over a minute.
3:30 - my water broke in a gush that would've covered the living room carpet if not for the big pad! G happened to be on the phone letting the center know we would probably head that way in an hour or so and changed it to, "Oh! Her water just broke. We might be in earlier." The pad had light meconium staining, so we prepared to head in right away.
4 - we got into the car after working through 2 or 3 contractions, strong enough that I had to stop and couldn't talk through them, on our way out the door. Thankfully I didn't puke in the car, but I felt like I was going to a few times. And can I just say, laboring in the car is terrible?!
4:15(ish) - arrived at the center and got checked in and into our room by 4:30.
K, the midwife on call, said she'd be there in an hour or so and hoped I'd be at 8 cm by the then. I wanted to labor, and possibly deliver, in the tub but it took a while to fill it up and I couldn't get into the tub before the midwife was in the building, so I got into the shower, sat on a labor ball, and Miguel sprayed my back between contractions. They were anywhere from 1 minute to 2 1/2 minutes apart and usually lasted 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. I threw up whatever liquid I had been able to drink up to this point.
5:30(ish) - K arrived, checked me the once and I was at 7 1/2 cm. The rest of my water broke sometime around this time and K deemed the meconium light enough to allow me into the tub without reservation.
6 - Got in the tub. With the progress I was making and contractions at times coming back to back, I thought it would be over by 7. All things considered, it probably would have been (or even sooner) if not for two factors - I hadn't gotten any sleep since that 30 min. afternoon nap and I hadn't eaten since dinner time, 12 hours earlier. Before getting into the tub and during tub time, they tried getting me to drink Gatorade and eat something, finally landing on a honey stick. I barely got a small bottle of Gatorade down by slow, forced sips before puking that all up again. I did make it through the honey stick in a few hours' time. I usually lose my appetite any time I feel sick, so no surprise for me on this point.
7 - For me, time had flown up until this point. I did my best to doze between contractions, but the breaks were short and I'd just be re-positioned from hanging over the tub in front to sitting/lying on my back in the water and closing my eyes before feeling another contraction coming on. Miguel and G were amazing support through the entire labor. G taught Miguel how to do counter pressure on my lower back which became a coping method I refused to go one contraction without! Sometime around this is when K got me to get out and labor in a few different positions, including on the toilet, to get my body moving a bit more.
8 - For the past hour, I had felt like the only left for my body to do was push, but I was so tired I didn't really "feel" pushy. The sun had been up for a few hours and at this point, I looked at the clock and told myself, "This is gonna be done by 10. No two ways to it." So, I started zeroing in more on seeing if I could reach the pushy feeling through sheer brain power. The midwives at the center are very conscientious with lowering chances of tearing, and one of the ways they do this is through controlled pushing. That factored with my body's complete exhaustion is why K hadn't checked me again and wanted to wait until I felt ready to push.
8:45 - I was making pushing noises through a contraction or two, apparently, so K checked me, declared me "complete" and G started coaching me through beginning stages of pushing. after pushing in the tub for 10-15 min. K got me to get out of the tub again and do the circuits - laboring on the toilet, leaning over the bed, and squatting - before getting me up onto the bed. At one point, on the toilet, I felt baby move down - the only time I felt anything and had any indication that I was making progress other than K's encouragements.
9: 20(ish) - I ended up kneeling on the bed, leaning against the front of the bed that was angled up (a hospital type bed) in the same position I had been hanging over the front of the tub, and holding onto Miguel's arm as he patted my upper back and kept my hair out of my face.
I remember K telling me to stop pushing when contractions stopped, unless my body kept going. The ring of fire was terrible (like everyone says it is), but I was one of those lucky people whose body just kept pushing out his head through the burn, and I couldn't have stopped it if I would've tried!
9:34 - His head popped out and I could see his black fuzz from my angle. "Reach down and touch his head, Rose!" from G. It felt spongy, like I expected and the happy hormones were already kicking in. K had me pause and wait for the next contraction as she suctioned baby's nose and mouth.
9:35 - Kai's body slid out with barely another push from me when the contraction hit. He started crying and I started laughing! I couldn't quite saying, "We did it, honey!" You never do know how you will react when it's all said and done. Miguel thought I lost it for a bit there, especially when I was trying to figure out where my tears were coming from - haha!
Miguel's first coherent sentence as they were wiping him off on the bed before handing him up to me was, "He has big balls!" This came as a compliment to K's, "Wow, he's big and long!"
They passed him up through my legs and into my arms, still crying. As soon as I started talking to "baby Coco" he stopped crying and opened his eyes and didn't cry much after unless he was hungry or had a poopy diaper.
Everyone then helped me maneuver around to sit/lie down and Miguel, standing at my head, started talking to him. I'll never forget how Kai's eyes immediately shot over to Miguel and stared at him as long as Daddy was talking to him. Their bond has been strong from the start and Daddy still receives (slightly) more physical affection than I do!
G was the first to notice his very Terrero nose, "It looks like your mom's, Miguel." And I couldn't stop remarking on his incredibly long fingers (he still has paws for hands!).
Malakai Sem Terrero made his appearance at 9:35 on August 9, 2019. He weighed in at a grand 8 lbs. 11 oz. and measured 22 inches long!
Meaning of his full name is "a renown messenger" and our prayer over him is Isaiah 6:8: And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here I am! Send me.
