At the risk of sounding a bit pitiful, I'm not gonna lie - 2019 has been a bit rough for us so far.
This coming after March's "Choosing Gratitude" post, may seem a bit contradictory, but that's not my intent, as you'll hopefully see!
Being vulnerable is scary. You set yourself up to the judgement and critique of others. We see that even more serving as missionaries because our stories go back to people who financially support us and believe that we are capable of carrying out the work God has called us to. Because of this, it's easier to report the positive progress and wait to talk about the problems until after they're resolved.
The main factor that has made this year a bit bumpy is rooted in a common problem that many in ministry (local and overseas) face - money. In fact, I think most people, no matter where they are in life, face problems in this area! Our problem becomes a bit more compact because we feel the responsibility of putting other people's money to work and feeling the need to justify everything it goes towards.
If you've been keeping up since late last year, you will remember we were able to finish the house in Boca Chica Miguel had started above his mom's house before we met. On December 1st, the day we were praying to be able to finish and have renters in the house, a very responsible woman signed the rental agreement and moved in that week with her two children. Originally, the plan was to use the extra income to help with Mireya's knee surgery she needs. However, she found out that insurance doesn't cover as large a part as originally thought, so that has been postponed. In the meantime, the rent goes toward payments of a small loan we took out to finish the house and what's left over is for Mireya. She has needed improvements on her house for a long time and even though the amount isn't large each month, she has put it to good use to secure her living conditions. Her stress levels have gone down and she has a much more positive outlook on life as she sees changes around her physically. She was even able to come visit us over Easter since she now has people living above her who can keep an eye on the place while she's gone.
All that to say - even with the small loan (which we could pay off immediately with savings if that ever becomes necessary), we still had to use up the cushion that had accumulated over a year and we finished out 2018 with barely $2 in our bank account. I thought we'd be in the red for the first time in my life and I remember telling Miguel, "At least we broke even!"
Raising financial support while living here (not having the ability to meet people face to face) has not been easy - not having one concentrated home base to go back to (every trip Stateside so far has been to a different place since our support team is so scattered across the country) and until this summer, not having more than a week to ten days per trip have all played a part in reaching this point as well. When I moved down here, I had more than enough financial support coming in for a single person, which is why we even have a small savings/emergency fund. But when we got married and I put my involvement with human trafficking on hold and ministry for me personally took on a whole new face, understandably, we lost some of that support. Due to the above factors, it's taken us until this year to build back up to that same place and we have still have a ways to go in reaching our support goal financially.
This brings about the very reasonable questions:
what about Miguel's salary, can you cut back on living costs, what about "paying" job opportunities, etc?
In reply:
Miguel's monthly salary is about half of what a teacher makes here and most of it goes back into the ministry work since FCA DR has no operations budget. He has finished university and is officially graduating next weekend with a degree to teach English. Yes, he could easily pick up a teaching job and increase our income substantially, but it would mean completely putting on hold everything he's doing with discipling coaches and athletes - a decision we have not had peace about so far since we clearly believe that he is doing what God has called him to right now.
Living costs are about half or two-thirds of what they were where I used to live while serving with Destiny Rescue. But we are two people instead of just one so that brings us back up to basically the same line regarding living costs. There have been several times that we've sat down to go over our monthly budgeting and it always boils down to cutting back literally meaning eating less ;) With recent vehicle repairs (I wrote more about this in our newsletter this month) and prenatal bills, we've had more than just the monthly living costs we had last year. But! There are a few people who generously helped us with the extra bills and just last week, we received a needs reimbursement check from the healthcare sharing plan we're a part of. These small but significant details have helped us to break even each month and we always see God more than taking care of us.
A paying job opportunity came in the form of a part-time position with Vida Plena, a ministry dedicated to providing dignified employment, artisan trade skills, and micro-financing to women who otherwise are mostly untrained, thus have difficulty being able to provide for their families. They needed help with their admin and accounting and the phone call came right in the middle of all our vehicle stories! With my flexible schedule, I was able to commit to 3 months, 2 days a week, and it has been such an amazing opportunity. Finances aside, I forgot how much I missed the hands-on aspect of going into an office/workspace and interacting with the people who are being served. Overseeing admin for FCA DR from home has it's definite advantages. Assisting ATB mostly from home and only attending periodic meetings, less than once a month, has had those same advantages. But I have missed the daily, messy beauty of direct involvement. To continue answering this question, once getting back from furlough/maternity leave, this opportunity would still be available and they've even offered to help with fundraising so that the salary would be at a full-time income level. The drawback is that the workshop is 45 minutes from where we live and with a baby, we simply have no idea yet how life will look by then.
----
Ok, deep breath.
---
Again, publicly putting all this out there in no way is meant to undermine and diminish all the amazing things that have taken place this year already! More than ever, we find the positive in walking through difficulties as we see God's character shine and we find a deeper intimacy with Him individually and as a couple.
We do, however, believe in being honest and as transparent as possible, which sometimes means revealing the raw and uninteresting parts.
If you've read this far, hopefully capturing what we're trying to relay, we have two burdens we ask you to share with us.
1. Direction.
I've jokingly said we have everything planned out until this baby comes, then I have no idea what we'll come back to. Life after furlough may return to the same, but will likely look completely different - especially for me. One thing I do know, I won't be able to keep everything on my plate that's currently on there. It may mean I don't "do" anything other than care for our son and home and this is a point I'm still struggling with. It's meant relearning everything about 'being' more than 'doing', not feeling the need to justify who I am by what I do, and capturing the truth of family being our first ministry.
2. Financial provision.
More than just being able to make ends meet. This year, each month that closed with us we thinking the next month would mean wiggle room again, something happened (usually vehicle related).
We are so grateful for people who constantly pour into us, encourage and uplift us where it's tough, and rejoice with us where there is reason to celebrate. Vulnerability aside, writing this has been difficult because there is SO MUCH good in our lives!! And I never want to bury the truth of God's grace, faithfulness, and goodness towards us. It's hard to know how to end this post - I want to make a list of all that good but somehow feel that it would deter from what I've been trying to write about.
Through all this, I've found a new understanding of 2 Timothy 4:7-8. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." We have no guarantee of a life of ease, yet difficulty doesn't somehow make us more worthy of heaven. The point is whether or not I am one of the "all who have loved his appearing."
This coming after March's "Choosing Gratitude" post, may seem a bit contradictory, but that's not my intent, as you'll hopefully see!
Being vulnerable is scary. You set yourself up to the judgement and critique of others. We see that even more serving as missionaries because our stories go back to people who financially support us and believe that we are capable of carrying out the work God has called us to. Because of this, it's easier to report the positive progress and wait to talk about the problems until after they're resolved.
The main factor that has made this year a bit bumpy is rooted in a common problem that many in ministry (local and overseas) face - money. In fact, I think most people, no matter where they are in life, face problems in this area! Our problem becomes a bit more compact because we feel the responsibility of putting other people's money to work and feeling the need to justify everything it goes towards.
If you've been keeping up since late last year, you will remember we were able to finish the house in Boca Chica Miguel had started above his mom's house before we met. On December 1st, the day we were praying to be able to finish and have renters in the house, a very responsible woman signed the rental agreement and moved in that week with her two children. Originally, the plan was to use the extra income to help with Mireya's knee surgery she needs. However, she found out that insurance doesn't cover as large a part as originally thought, so that has been postponed. In the meantime, the rent goes toward payments of a small loan we took out to finish the house and what's left over is for Mireya. She has needed improvements on her house for a long time and even though the amount isn't large each month, she has put it to good use to secure her living conditions. Her stress levels have gone down and she has a much more positive outlook on life as she sees changes around her physically. She was even able to come visit us over Easter since she now has people living above her who can keep an eye on the place while she's gone.
All that to say - even with the small loan (which we could pay off immediately with savings if that ever becomes necessary), we still had to use up the cushion that had accumulated over a year and we finished out 2018 with barely $2 in our bank account. I thought we'd be in the red for the first time in my life and I remember telling Miguel, "At least we broke even!"
Raising financial support while living here (not having the ability to meet people face to face) has not been easy - not having one concentrated home base to go back to (every trip Stateside so far has been to a different place since our support team is so scattered across the country) and until this summer, not having more than a week to ten days per trip have all played a part in reaching this point as well. When I moved down here, I had more than enough financial support coming in for a single person, which is why we even have a small savings/emergency fund. But when we got married and I put my involvement with human trafficking on hold and ministry for me personally took on a whole new face, understandably, we lost some of that support. Due to the above factors, it's taken us until this year to build back up to that same place and we have still have a ways to go in reaching our support goal financially.
This brings about the very reasonable questions:
what about Miguel's salary, can you cut back on living costs, what about "paying" job opportunities, etc?
In reply:
Miguel's monthly salary is about half of what a teacher makes here and most of it goes back into the ministry work since FCA DR has no operations budget. He has finished university and is officially graduating next weekend with a degree to teach English. Yes, he could easily pick up a teaching job and increase our income substantially, but it would mean completely putting on hold everything he's doing with discipling coaches and athletes - a decision we have not had peace about so far since we clearly believe that he is doing what God has called him to right now.
Living costs are about half or two-thirds of what they were where I used to live while serving with Destiny Rescue. But we are two people instead of just one so that brings us back up to basically the same line regarding living costs. There have been several times that we've sat down to go over our monthly budgeting and it always boils down to cutting back literally meaning eating less ;) With recent vehicle repairs (I wrote more about this in our newsletter this month) and prenatal bills, we've had more than just the monthly living costs we had last year. But! There are a few people who generously helped us with the extra bills and just last week, we received a needs reimbursement check from the healthcare sharing plan we're a part of. These small but significant details have helped us to break even each month and we always see God more than taking care of us.
A paying job opportunity came in the form of a part-time position with Vida Plena, a ministry dedicated to providing dignified employment, artisan trade skills, and micro-financing to women who otherwise are mostly untrained, thus have difficulty being able to provide for their families. They needed help with their admin and accounting and the phone call came right in the middle of all our vehicle stories! With my flexible schedule, I was able to commit to 3 months, 2 days a week, and it has been such an amazing opportunity. Finances aside, I forgot how much I missed the hands-on aspect of going into an office/workspace and interacting with the people who are being served. Overseeing admin for FCA DR from home has it's definite advantages. Assisting ATB mostly from home and only attending periodic meetings, less than once a month, has had those same advantages. But I have missed the daily, messy beauty of direct involvement. To continue answering this question, once getting back from furlough/maternity leave, this opportunity would still be available and they've even offered to help with fundraising so that the salary would be at a full-time income level. The drawback is that the workshop is 45 minutes from where we live and with a baby, we simply have no idea yet how life will look by then.
----
Ok, deep breath.
---
Again, publicly putting all this out there in no way is meant to undermine and diminish all the amazing things that have taken place this year already! More than ever, we find the positive in walking through difficulties as we see God's character shine and we find a deeper intimacy with Him individually and as a couple.
We do, however, believe in being honest and as transparent as possible, which sometimes means revealing the raw and uninteresting parts.
If you've read this far, hopefully capturing what we're trying to relay, we have two burdens we ask you to share with us.
1. Direction.
I've jokingly said we have everything planned out until this baby comes, then I have no idea what we'll come back to. Life after furlough may return to the same, but will likely look completely different - especially for me. One thing I do know, I won't be able to keep everything on my plate that's currently on there. It may mean I don't "do" anything other than care for our son and home and this is a point I'm still struggling with. It's meant relearning everything about 'being' more than 'doing', not feeling the need to justify who I am by what I do, and capturing the truth of family being our first ministry.
2. Financial provision.
More than just being able to make ends meet. This year, each month that closed with us we thinking the next month would mean wiggle room again, something happened (usually vehicle related).
We are so grateful for people who constantly pour into us, encourage and uplift us where it's tough, and rejoice with us where there is reason to celebrate. Vulnerability aside, writing this has been difficult because there is SO MUCH good in our lives!! And I never want to bury the truth of God's grace, faithfulness, and goodness towards us. It's hard to know how to end this post - I want to make a list of all that good but somehow feel that it would deter from what I've been trying to write about.
Through all this, I've found a new understanding of 2 Timothy 4:7-8. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." We have no guarantee of a life of ease, yet difficulty doesn't somehow make us more worthy of heaven. The point is whether or not I am one of the "all who have loved his appearing."
