Have you ever looked in the mirror, stared into your own eyes, and realized, "I am the only 'me' in the entire world and no one knows exactly what I'm feeling right now in this moment."? I call it The Island Feeling.
My grandparents used to live in a great big house on a gorgeous lake not far from our place, so I have many happy summer memories of taking their paddle boat out to this tiny island in the middle of their part of the lake. There were houses within seeing distance and the sound of summer barbecues drifted over the water, but the island itself was quiet. There was a feeling of being safe and dry and knowing there are people not far off. - But. At the same time, if anything happened, it took a lot of really loud yelling and jumping up and down to get anyone's attention!
The kind of island feeling - When you know you're not really alone, there are people around you and normaly the feeling of quiet and security is calming. But every once in a while, you look in the mirror and realize, "If I'd try to explain to someone why I'm feeling sad or in despair or cranky or frustrated or simply exhausted from 'paddling the boat', they'd be able to relate (they've taken the boat out a few times before), they'd be able to give me reassuring promises (that I know are true) - but they're not me. Even if I yell and jump up and down, they don't know my own exact personal fear or sadness."
I felt like that the other day.
It's been a tough week. Really, a tough month of March. Every week more doors have been unlocked, while at the same time the spiritual warfare increases and becomes more intense. It surrounds the girls we talk with and are working with. It involves our team and tries to tear us apart. At a time when things should be getting easier, and the process seems to be figured out, it is in reality getting harder.
When I looked into the mirror the other day, I realized how easy it is to forget about something when you're not right there in the middle of it. It felt lonely, as I stood there staring into my own eyes, to think about other people's lives going on and the memories being made without me. I also realized there is no way we would have made it this far and still have strength to move forward if it wouldn't be for the prayers that surround us and the battling that is done on our behalf by people who have not yet had the priviledge of looking into the face of one of these Precious Someones. I'm thankful. We're grateful. That you haven't forgotten and that you continue to battle with us.
After I quit looking in the mirror, talked to my boyfriend (who always knows exactly what to say), spent some time with Jesus, and got enough fuel to get back into my 'boat' again to head back to shore (the fuel probably came from all the coffee and chocolate I've been cosuming these days ;), I realized something:
That's probably exactly how all of the girls who walk (and will walk) through the doors of our safe home feel.
On the road here, they may think they're being taken to jail. Or if they hear of our program and come voluntarily, they're taking a huge risk listening to what we have to say. Their lives are in the hands of strangers. They don't know when they'll see their friends again. And even though, after the initial introductions, it's easy to see that this home is a super safe and secure place and they hear the reassurances that we are on their side. Even so...it must feel so very lonely...We don't know them at that point. And we only know a little bit of their story. That's The Island Feeling
Be grateful.
For your friends and family around you
For education
For the ability to dream
And to make and watch those dreams come alive
For hope
For the gift of true and unconditional love
Don't take for granted the privilege of being able to make your own decisions.
For be able to say no and yes
For not needing permission to use the bathroom
For being able to choose who your friends and companions are
Tonight. This very night as you're tucking your kids into bed
As you're winding down after a full day of work or school or a fun activity
This weekend. As you're planning to celebrate with family
As you are able to be with people you enjoy being around
Take a minute to pause and pray for that Precious Someone who, right now, is a young, innocent girl huddling in a corner trying to prepare herself for what she knows is coming
She may act brave. She may think it's no big deal. She may even be convinced that it's a good thing she's doing. She probably has been brainwashed enough by what we call 'pimp psychology' to think that this is her decision and she's not doing anything she doesn't want to be doing.
The slavery goes beyond physical bondage. It goes into every crevice of psychological, emotional, and spiritual strongholds.
The next time you find yourself looking into a mirror and the feeling of being alone on an island touches your mind and settles in for a second - after you've talked to Jesus and listened to His voice, taken in the encouragement from the people who are around you, and have gotten enough fuel to get back in the boat again (coffee and chocolate do help!) - don't forget about that Precious Someone. Who doesn't know Jesus yet. Who is surrounded by abuse and neglect. Who waits on sleep for a bit of relief from the feeling of emptiness.
Don't forget.
Remember that your prayers can be the seeds of hope needed to bring life into her eyes.
My grandparents used to live in a great big house on a gorgeous lake not far from our place, so I have many happy summer memories of taking their paddle boat out to this tiny island in the middle of their part of the lake. There were houses within seeing distance and the sound of summer barbecues drifted over the water, but the island itself was quiet. There was a feeling of being safe and dry and knowing there are people not far off. - But. At the same time, if anything happened, it took a lot of really loud yelling and jumping up and down to get anyone's attention!
The kind of island feeling - When you know you're not really alone, there are people around you and normaly the feeling of quiet and security is calming. But every once in a while, you look in the mirror and realize, "If I'd try to explain to someone why I'm feeling sad or in despair or cranky or frustrated or simply exhausted from 'paddling the boat', they'd be able to relate (they've taken the boat out a few times before), they'd be able to give me reassuring promises (that I know are true) - but they're not me. Even if I yell and jump up and down, they don't know my own exact personal fear or sadness."
I felt like that the other day.It's been a tough week. Really, a tough month of March. Every week more doors have been unlocked, while at the same time the spiritual warfare increases and becomes more intense. It surrounds the girls we talk with and are working with. It involves our team and tries to tear us apart. At a time when things should be getting easier, and the process seems to be figured out, it is in reality getting harder.
When I looked into the mirror the other day, I realized how easy it is to forget about something when you're not right there in the middle of it. It felt lonely, as I stood there staring into my own eyes, to think about other people's lives going on and the memories being made without me. I also realized there is no way we would have made it this far and still have strength to move forward if it wouldn't be for the prayers that surround us and the battling that is done on our behalf by people who have not yet had the priviledge of looking into the face of one of these Precious Someones. I'm thankful. We're grateful. That you haven't forgotten and that you continue to battle with us.
After I quit looking in the mirror, talked to my boyfriend (who always knows exactly what to say), spent some time with Jesus, and got enough fuel to get back into my 'boat' again to head back to shore (the fuel probably came from all the coffee and chocolate I've been cosuming these days ;), I realized something:That's probably exactly how all of the girls who walk (and will walk) through the doors of our safe home feel.
On the road here, they may think they're being taken to jail. Or if they hear of our program and come voluntarily, they're taking a huge risk listening to what we have to say. Their lives are in the hands of strangers. They don't know when they'll see their friends again. And even though, after the initial introductions, it's easy to see that this home is a super safe and secure place and they hear the reassurances that we are on their side. Even so...it must feel so very lonely...We don't know them at that point. And we only know a little bit of their story. That's The Island Feeling
Be grateful.
For your friends and family around you
For education
For the ability to dream
And to make and watch those dreams come alive
For hope
For the gift of true and unconditional love
Don't take for granted the privilege of being able to make your own decisions.For be able to say no and yes
For not needing permission to use the bathroom
For being able to choose who your friends and companions are
Tonight. This very night as you're tucking your kids into bed
As you're winding down after a full day of work or school or a fun activity
This weekend. As you're planning to celebrate with family
As you are able to be with people you enjoy being around
Take a minute to pause and pray for that Precious Someone who, right now, is a young, innocent girl huddling in a corner trying to prepare herself for what she knows is coming
She may act brave. She may think it's no big deal. She may even be convinced that it's a good thing she's doing. She probably has been brainwashed enough by what we call 'pimp psychology' to think that this is her decision and she's not doing anything she doesn't want to be doing.
The slavery goes beyond physical bondage. It goes into every crevice of psychological, emotional, and spiritual strongholds.
The next time you find yourself looking into a mirror and the feeling of being alone on an island touches your mind and settles in for a second - after you've talked to Jesus and listened to His voice, taken in the encouragement from the people who are around you, and have gotten enough fuel to get back in the boat again (coffee and chocolate do help!) - don't forget about that Precious Someone. Who doesn't know Jesus yet. Who is surrounded by abuse and neglect. Who waits on sleep for a bit of relief from the feeling of emptiness.Don't forget.
Remember that your prayers can be the seeds of hope needed to bring life into her eyes.
