We are Home! A Short Journal

Tuesday, July 7, 2020 is one for the books (that I might actually write one day)! After an unplanned 3 months and 3 weeks stay in MI, we made it back home to the Dominican Republic safely on a Tuesday afternoon. 

It was our easiest trip yet - mostly, surprisingly, thanks to regulations in place due to the current Covid-19 pandemic. Airport staff were very helpful and friendly in spite of stricter regulations and all lines were short and quick due to fewer people traveling. Security let us go through the metal detector as a family instead of sending Miguel to the scanner, which was a first for us. The flights were comfortable with a whole row to ourselves since seating was intentionally spaced with only family members together, and we found out Kai still loves flying! We were worried with him being able to walk now and being much more mobile than he's ever been (he wasn't even crawling when we flew up in March) that he would be restless, but he slept all but 1 1/2 of the 5 hours total flying time. And while awake, he was very happy, loving having his own seat and tray table able to entertain himself with his finger puppets (a last minute buy that I now definitely recommend to families flying/traveling with toddlers!). Arriving in the Dominican Republic, immigration was fast since we were the only flight arriving inside a half hour window. 

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Notes on pandemic affects:

The airports were maybe around half as full, if that much, as they have been when we traveled through them on previous trips. It wasn't unusual to see people wearing these plastic face shields as well as surgical masks. In the lounge areas, travelers spaced themselves even further apart than usual and gave each other wide berths to avoid crossing paths in the walkways. 

Everything was super clean - enough to smell the cleaning chemicals used. One positive change I hope this virus brings about is better hygiene in public spaces! United Airlines seated us in the Economy Plus section at no extra charge since we had a lap child with us and the flight was only about half full. They strictly required masks to cover face and nose unless eating or drinking.

The DR very strictly enforces mask wearing whenever anyone is outside of private property, even when walking or riding a bike in the open air. They will fine, or jail, people riding motorbikes without masks while overlooking the fact that most of them still don't wear helmets (also legally supposed to be required). Our friend who picked us up form the airport didn't even dare roll down the window without a mask on. This has been an adjustment for us since we were just in rural MI, mostly with family, where mask wearing in public was about 50/50.

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The first week home, we focused on fixing the many things in and around home that needed tending to after almost 4 months of being gone. The a.c. unit in our main bedroom was dripping water so we had to spend the first, very sticky night with several fans set up, the 'old fashioned' way. A friend, who we call family, came for a 5 day visit and helped Miguel get our car fixed (a mechanical issue that could have quickly gotten worse with more use) and re-do the garden and laundry areas in our back patio. While they were doing this, I was working on unpacking and redoing Kai's sleeping arrangement. While we were gone, we bought a dresser from some friends moving out of the DR. I wanted to start sleep-training Kai once he adjusted to being back home and figured moving him into his own room at the same time, would help him sleep longer stretches at night, too. Our office was set up in the spare bedroom, so I had to move the desk and other office equipment out to make room for his collapsible crib and dresser. 

Miguel's mom came for a visit over the weekend and friends stopped by sporadically to catch up. Kai, thankfully, adjusted to being home SO well (huge answer to prayer!). He seemed to recognize the house and everything else. He was initially shy around new people, but as soon as they started playing with him, he made a new friend and has since only continued charming people (everyone is his friend now). 

The second week, I started working on refinishing the desk before moving it into our bedroom with a new office set-up. Unfortunately, I I breathed in some of the sawdust with chemical paint stripper on it while sanding it down and spend the next 24 hours with aches and pains and a terrible sinus flair-up. I went through the rest of the week with a bout of sinus cold; at the same time, Kai was working on pushing through two more teeth (to join the six he already had) and had some sniffles. We made sure to fill in our friends and ministry volunteer coaches when they came by for a visit or we visited them so they wouldn't be scared of us having caught the virus! 

On July 20th, the start of our third week home, a nation-wide 45-day state of emergency began. So, we're staying home more than planned these days! It's given me time to finish the desk and another piece of furniture (I found a paint solution that doesn't require stripper!), set up an office nook in our bedroom, successfully sleep-train Kai, and finally prioritize updating everyone on how we are doing. 

Miguel has stepped into the role of Country Director for FCA DR since June, so he's taken the extra time to focus on getting a semi-regular routine in place for our staff to better take advantage of this extra time we find on our hands. This has included coordinating and running online staff training which would otherwise be delayed or drawn out over a longer period of time and will help with future ministry implementation. 

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As I was writing this, the first tropical storm of the season was rolling in so our internet was slow. I came back and added the pictures and couldn't resist adding this extra one. 

We woke up the next day with no water. Upon inspection, Miguel found a PVC pipe from an outside faucet had broken and drained the water tank on our roof. After fixing the pipe, he decided to take advantage of the empty water and give it a good cleaning before pumping water back in from our cistern. On his way down, coming of the ladder, he slipped on the wet patio tile and completely wiped out, hitting his chest and chin. He gashed his chin open enough to require 4 or 5 stitches! Amazingly, he doesn't have a headache or sore chest, but yesterday everyone was making fun of his 'white beard' and getting an injury usually seen on toddlers learning how to walk - haha! 

Until next time.

~Rose 

Kai's Birth Story

I'll launch into all this by first explaining why we made the decision to give birth where we did.
The Dominican Republic has frequently been at the top for c-section rates worldwide. The public hospitals will mostly do vaginal deliveries because the cost is lower, but in many cases, their services and set-up is not very patient friendly. The private clinics are much more comfortable and where most people with insurance will go, but anything even slightly veering away from perfect with often be an excuse to push a c-section. Because of this, I don't personally know many Dominican women who have given birth vaginally. There is currently a lack of education around natural birth and some women will even elect c-sections to avoid the pain of labor. Because of this, neither Miguel nor I were very comfortable with the care options in our town and the place we would've been comfortable at was a 3 hour drive away.  My preferences are also highly for the midwife model of care vs. doctor and hospital and that isn't even an option at this point in the DR, that I know of.
We have the added factor of filing paperwork for dual citizenship for our children. Paperwork alone makes it easier for the rest of our children's lives if they are born on American soil. So, after talking to other missionary couples (in the DR and other countries), we chose to go to the States to deliver at least our first child and will likely do the same for any more children that may join us in the future.
A few months before getting pregnant, we had already discussed all the ins and outs of birthing options, including potentially doing a home birth in MI. Miguel wasn't quite comfortable with the idea of a home birth for our first one, although he did tell me to choose what I'm most comfortable with. So, when my sister, G, told us she was going to start working at a birthing center in OH that summer, we breathed a sigh of relief and settled on that as our number one option.
When I got pregnant in November, G put me in contact with M.A., the head midwife with the attached midwifery group, and we went from there.

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August 8, 2019 - our EDD (estimated due date). The story should start there, or the day before, but let me back up to early July to give a bit of background.

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July 4.
My parents had been visiting us in the DR for around 2 weeks. I needed to head stateside 4-6 weeks before my EDD, so my parents came down the end of June for their first visit since our wedding and stayed for 10 days. I was then able to fly up to MI on the 4th with them instead of doing the trip alone. We were originally going to fly to OH, leave my stuff with my sister, then head to MI with her for my baby shower that weekend. But, a storm delayed our connecting flight to OH until the next day, so they booked us a flight to MI that same evening instead and my sister just drove up by herself for the baby shower.

July 9.
We squeezed myself, my luggage and the baby gifts, my sister, and her daughter into her car and headed the 5 hours to OH where I waited out the next 4 weeks for Miguel to arrive. Originally, he was going to fly in on August 8 (we basically relied on the stats that first babies go late), but thankfully some ministry scheduling changed and made it possible for him to fly up a week earlier.

Rest of July.
I regularly visited my midwives and chiropractor as baby shifted and turned me into a lumbering cow.

July 30.
Miguel arrived safe and sound to Cleveland airport! Since the schedule change hadn't happened until right before I flew up, in my head, once Miguel got there it was time for baby to come. So, the next few days, we took some maternity pics, went a few places, and in general felt like we were going a week overdue.

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August 7 - last chiropractic and midwifery appointments.
The chiropractor said he had to adjust me a little differently and we thought it was likely due to the baby re-shifting that week. We both said we hoped we wouldn't see eachother again before the baby was born!
At my midwifery appointment, M.A. did my check-up. Every time I had a check-up with my Dominican Dr., I'd sent an update to M.A. and scanned any test results when there were any. She was graciously available to chat any time. One time I had slightly high blood pressure and she provided me with more extensive research and information that my Dr. ever offered. This all made me very confidant of our decision to be in the care of the midwife group.
I had gotten checked at the last two appointments and seemed to be dilating about a cm a week. That day, I was at a stretchy 3 and 85% effacement, so we went ahead with a membrane sweep/cervical massage when she suggested doing one. The sweep wasn't uncomfortable for me like I had heard it could be and my bag of waters was already so low that she stopped early to avoid breaking it. They sent us home with instructions to keep moving for the next 24 hours to increase our chances of success.
I had a little bit of spotting that evening but nothing a panty liner couldn't handle. Miguel and I went for a walk after dinner and before heading to bed with plans to get up early, before the heat set in, to go for another walk.


August 8 - EDD
7:30 AM found us out circling the cemetery next to G's house again and making plans for other things I could do that day. Remember, I already felt like I was a week overdue with Miguel having come up a week earlier than originally planned, so I was just at the point of being done with pregnancy. The possibility of going another week was enough to make me tear up, grab a push mower, and head out to mow the lawn, determined to do everything in my power to stay active and keep moving!
At this point in pregnancy I wasn't eating a lot at a time, or even a lot in general (no room!) and I was battling what I dubbed late-term-pregnancy-insomnia. I'd only sleep a few hours at a time during the night, wake for an hour or so, and sleep a few more hours - it must be the body's way of prepping for the newborn sleep stage. I tried taking a nap that day but apparently the walks, mowing lawn, and helping clean house wasn't tiring enough to get me more than a half hour of sleep before 6 PM dinner (last time I ate that day).
I lost bits of mucus every time I went to the bathroom all throughout the day and just generally felt uncomfortable. But, there wasn't enough change for me to recommend my mom make the trip down before the weekend, which had me a bit disheartened.
I kept a pregnancy journal. It's something I would love to keep doing for any future pregnancies as well, but I know realistically it might only get done with the first one and I didn't want to regret not doing it. That evening, around 11, I updated it with the above details and wrote, "unless this baby is born in the next hour, he'll officially be overdue."
An hour later, just as I was finally at the point of dozing off, the first contraction hit.

August 9 - Baby Coco is born
During my pregnancy, I had done a deep search for a real description for how contractions felt, because I didn't want to miss the first one and go into labor unsure of whether or not it was the real thing. The best one I found described exactly what that first contraction at midnight felt to me - like a bad period cramp that starts in the front and wraps around the back, lingering then fading in the lower back.
Since I hadn't slept much that day, I stayed in bed, trying to doze off again to get some rest before full-blow labor set in. For the first bit, they came about every 10 minutes and kept getting stronger, often enough and strong enough that half an hour in, I moved out to the couch to be able to time them and work through them better without disturbing Miguel - sadly waving good-bye to the possibility of sleep.
1 - I messaged G just to let her know my contractions were about 5 min. apart and had been going for an hour, in case she woke up and checked her phone.
1:30 - the intensity of the contractions were bad enough that I paused on the steps to work through one on my way upstairs to wake up G. She told me to get a bath going; the water would slow them down if it was false labor or likely make them more intense if it was real. The water was soothing but it definitely ramped things up!
An hour later, I got out to have G check me and move downstairs to wake up Miguel and try using a labor ball. I was around 4 cm or a bit more with a bulging bag.
3 - Miguel was awake and getting some stuff together. G was in touch with the birthing center, giving a progress update. I had changed into labor clothes, put in a large pad in case my water broke, and sat on the labor ball groaning during contractions that came every 3 and a half min. or so. At this point, they lasted anywhere from 30 sec. to a little over a minute.
3:30 - my water broke in a gush that would've covered the living room carpet if not for the big pad! G happened to be on the phone letting the center know we would probably head that way in an hour or so and changed it to, "Oh! Her water just broke. We might be in earlier." The pad had light meconium staining, so we prepared to head in right away.
4 - we got into the car after working through 2 or 3 contractions, strong enough that I had to stop and couldn't talk through them, on our way out the door. Thankfully I didn't puke in the car, but I felt like I was going to a few times. And can I just say, laboring in the car is terrible?!
4:15(ish) - arrived at the center and got checked in and into our room by 4:30.
K, the midwife on call, said she'd be there in an hour or so and hoped I'd be at 8 cm by the then. I wanted to labor, and possibly deliver, in the tub but it took a while to fill it up and I couldn't get into the tub before the midwife was in the building, so I got into the shower, sat on a labor ball, and Miguel sprayed my back between contractions. They were anywhere from 1 minute to 2 1/2 minutes apart and usually lasted 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. I threw up whatever liquid I had been able to drink up to this point.
5:30(ish) - K arrived, checked me the once and I was at 7 1/2 cm. The rest of my water broke sometime around this time and K deemed the meconium light enough to allow me into the tub without reservation.
6 - Got in the tub. With the progress I was making and contractions at times coming back to back, I thought it would be over by 7. All things considered, it probably would have been (or even sooner) if not for two factors - I hadn't gotten any sleep since that 30 min. afternoon nap and I hadn't eaten since dinner time, 12 hours earlier. Before getting into the tub and during tub time, they tried getting me to drink Gatorade and eat something, finally landing on a honey stick. I barely got a small bottle of Gatorade down by slow, forced sips before puking that all up again. I did make it through the honey stick in a few hours' time. I usually lose my appetite any time I feel sick, so no surprise for me on this point.
7 - For me, time had flown up until this point. I did my best to doze between contractions, but the breaks were short and I'd just be re-positioned from hanging over the tub in front to sitting/lying on my back in the water and closing my eyes before feeling another contraction coming on. Miguel and G were amazing support through the entire labor. G taught Miguel how to do counter pressure on my lower back which became a coping method I refused to go one contraction without! Sometime around this is when K got me to get out and labor in a few different positions, including on the toilet, to get my body moving a bit more.
8 - For the past hour, I had felt like the only left for my body to do was push, but I was so tired I didn't really "feel" pushy. The sun had been up for a few hours and at this point, I looked at the clock and told myself, "This is gonna be done by 10. No two ways to it." So, I started zeroing in more on seeing if I could reach the pushy feeling through sheer brain power. The midwives at the center are very conscientious with lowering chances of tearing, and one of the ways they do this is through controlled pushing. That factored with my body's complete exhaustion is why K hadn't checked me again and wanted to wait until I felt ready to push.
8:45 - I was making pushing noises through a contraction or two, apparently, so K checked me, declared me "complete" and G started coaching me through beginning stages of pushing. after pushing in the tub for 10-15 min. K got me to get out of the tub again and do the circuits - laboring on the toilet, leaning over the bed, and squatting - before getting me up onto the bed. At one point, on the toilet, I felt baby move down - the only time I felt anything and had any indication that I was making progress other than K's encouragements.
9: 20(ish) - I ended up kneeling on the bed, leaning against the front of the bed that was angled up (a hospital type bed) in the same position I had been hanging over the front of the tub, and holding onto Miguel's arm as he patted my upper back and kept my hair out of my face.
I remember K telling me to stop pushing when contractions stopped, unless my body kept going. The ring of fire was terrible (like everyone says it is), but I was one of those lucky people whose body just kept pushing out his head through the burn, and I couldn't have stopped it if I would've tried!
9:34 - His head popped out and I could see his black fuzz from my angle. "Reach down and touch his head, Rose!" from G. It felt spongy, like I expected and the happy hormones were already kicking in. K had me pause and wait for the next contraction as she suctioned baby's nose and mouth.
9:35 - Kai's body slid out with barely another push from me when the contraction hit. He started crying and I started laughing! I couldn't quite saying, "We did it, honey!" You never do know how you will react when it's all said and done. Miguel thought I lost it for a bit there, especially when I was trying to figure out where my tears were coming from - haha!
Miguel's first coherent sentence as they were wiping him off on the bed before handing him up to me was, "He has big balls!" This came as a compliment to K's, "Wow, he's big and long!"
They passed him up through my legs and into my arms, still crying. As soon as I started talking to "baby Coco" he stopped crying and opened his eyes and didn't cry much after unless he was hungry or had a poopy diaper.
Everyone then helped me maneuver around to sit/lie down and Miguel, standing at my head, started talking to him. I'll never forget how Kai's eyes immediately shot over to Miguel and stared at him as long as Daddy was talking to him. Their bond has been strong from the start and Daddy still receives (slightly) more physical affection than I do!
G was the first to notice his very Terrero nose, "It looks like your mom's, Miguel." And I couldn't stop remarking on his incredibly long fingers (he still has paws for hands!).

Malakai Sem Terrero made his appearance at 9:35 on August 9, 2019. He weighed in at a grand 8 lbs. 11 oz. and measured 22 inches long!
Meaning of his full name is "a renown messenger" and our prayer over him is Isaiah 6:8: And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here I am! Send me.

The 2020 Blur

Let's get a few things out of the way.
1. I birthed a baby
2. He is now 5 months old
There you go. That's my explanation of where I've been at since May 28, 2019!

Seriously though, last time I posted on this blog, we were right on the verge of starting our busy summer team-hosting schedule; I was also only slightly more than a month out from getting ready to head to the U.S. for my maternity leave and then our family furlough.
Over the 5 (total) months of my maternity leave and our furlough, I purposely didn't do much updating through newsletters and obviously no blogging. Miguel was very active on social media, so most people still knew where we were at. We were at a point in our ministry life of really needing a break, as anyone who works in full-time ministry can relate with. Being able to take that time to focus on becoming a family of 3 and re-sort priorities for this new, current stage of life was exactly what we needed.

July 2019
Baby Shower the weekend I landed Stateside, a month before my due date

July 2019
Baby Shower

July 2010
37 wks pregnant - we stayed with my sister's family in Ohio and she put her many talents to use to grab some preggo pics to help fill in the time while waiting for Miguel to join me

August 2019
Miguel came a week before my due date. Our niece, Nikki, loved having us there!

July/August 2019
Miguel did a lot of cooking for the month+ we were in Ohio

                       

August 2
Some of our first visitors included Grandparents, aunts, and uncles (and of course Nikki - who LOVES baby Kai to this day)

Malakai Sem - born August 9, 2019 - week 1

September 2019
Miguel took a trip to Kansas City for FCA training while we were in MI for a month

We also spent 2 weeks in MD visiting Bay Area Community Church and working on paperwork for my Dominican residency and Kai's dual citizenship. For some reason, we don't have many photos of that trip!

October 2019
We headed back to Ohio for a few weeks while waiting on some paperwork stuff for Miguel's U.S. citizenship and my Dominican residency 

October 2019
We got to do a lot of fall stuff, including a corn maze!

November 2019
We made a flying 2 day trip to Atlanta to visit friends and ministry partners. Kai was given his first baseball!

November 2019
This is one of few family pics we have :P

We also spent a few weeks in FL right before heading home. Our trip home got delayed due to some super crazy, random complications with my passport. The Dominican embassy in D.C. mailed in to FL and my passport fell out along the way (the package arrived opened). I had to get another passport "same day", mail it back to D.C. for the reissued visa, and wait for it to be mailed back to where we were in FL. It got delayed 4 days instead of coming next day! The good thing that came from that was being able to spend extra quality time with our friends (who are really family!) who we hadn't seen in over a year and a half, as well as go out on the only baby-free date Miguel and I have had so far.

November 2019
We came back just in time for the FCA DR annual marriage retreat/conference

In December, Miguel got called up for an immigration related appointment, so we ended up taking Christmas vaca and going to ND from MI via train. My sister's family and home church there were completely surprised! This trip took Kai's number of states visited up to 13 before 5 months old. 

                

We got back just in time (again!) for the first team of 2020. 

29 students and teachers from Atlanta spent the week with FCA in San Pedro

January 9, 2020
Kai is becoming a super smiley, friendly baby. He's hit 20 lbs. and 29 in. this month.
He's super active - working on crawling (he scoots on his belly all over the house), working on sitting (still uses his hands for balance), and working on teething. He zooms around in his walker and babbles and growls and LOVES being outdoors.

He loves going with Miguel to work one day a week, allowing me to work on stuff like blogging for a few baby-free hours.

January 21, 2020
Friends from church surprised Miguel for his 29th birthday.

We are finally settled back into a semi-normal routine.
Miguel is studying for his naturalization interview, which should come up in February or the end of March. He will be going to Dubai for FCA's annual International Capacity Conference mid-March.  He's working in coordinating a trip to Atlanta for some of our coaches' teams. They received an invitation to a tournament coming up in May and navigating all the visa and trip details was a little overwhelming for them to do on their own. There's a potential he'll be traveling with them, meaning he's got potentially 3 trips coming up before the summer.
I'm focusing primarily on being mama to Kai. It sometimes seems like I see him growing right before my eyes! Some days, I feel less productive than ever before - I'm not as actively involved in hands-on ministry as before and the daily tasks of taking care of a baby seem so menial at times. Other days, it seems like I'm grasping at oil as each minute flies by before I can fully grasp and treasure all the changes and learning my son is going through.

This year, I have some goals for this blog that are a bit different than what I've done so far. This blog has mostly held stories of my missionary life and the twists and turns it's taken me, and now us, on. I've been trying to figure out what it means to be intentional in motherhood while not using it as an excuse to ignore people within my reach. One way of exploring new opportunities is creating more content for this blog. I don't know exactly how it will look, yet, but it will definitely include mom stuff, foreign living stories in a more detailed way, inspirational/devotional content, and some practical post such as what it's been like navigating dual residency and citizenship processes.

My next blog post is going to be our full birth story. This type of content doesn't interest everyone, but I want to have it documented somewhere, and for those interested in birth stories, you'll be able to relive it with me.


Until next time!

Not Gonna Lie

At the risk of sounding a bit pitiful, I'm not gonna lie - 2019 has been a bit rough for us so far.
This coming after March's "Choosing Gratitude" post, may seem a bit contradictory, but that's not my intent, as you'll hopefully see!

Being vulnerable is scary. You set yourself up to the judgement and critique of others. We see that even more serving as missionaries because our stories go back to people who financially support us and believe that we are capable of carrying out the work God has called us to. Because of this, it's easier to report the positive progress and wait to talk about the problems until after they're resolved.
The main factor that has made this year a bit bumpy is rooted in a common problem that many in ministry (local and overseas) face - money. In fact, I think most people, no matter where they are in life, face problems in this area! Our problem becomes a bit more compact because we feel the responsibility of putting other people's money to work and feeling the need to justify everything it goes towards.

If you've been keeping up since late last year, you will remember we were able to finish the house in Boca Chica Miguel had started above his mom's house before we met. On December 1st, the day we were praying to be able to finish and have renters in the house, a very responsible woman signed the rental agreement and moved in that week with her two children. Originally, the plan was to use the extra income to help with Mireya's knee surgery she needs. However, she found out that insurance doesn't cover as large a part as originally thought, so that has been postponed. In the meantime, the rent goes toward payments of a small loan we took out to finish the house and what's left over is for Mireya. She has needed improvements on her house for a long time and even though the amount isn't large each month, she has put it to good use to secure her living conditions. Her stress levels have gone down and she has a much more positive outlook on life as she sees changes around her physically. She was even able to come visit us over Easter since she now has people living above her who can keep an eye on the place while she's gone. 
All that to say - even with the small loan (which we could pay off immediately with savings if that ever becomes necessary), we still had to use up the cushion that had accumulated over a year and we finished out 2018 with barely $2 in our bank account. I thought we'd be in the red for the first time in my life and I remember telling Miguel, "At least we broke even!"

Raising financial support while living here (not having the ability to meet people face to face) has not been easy - not having one concentrated home base to go back to (every trip Stateside so far has been to a different place since our support team is so scattered across the country) and until this summer, not having more than a week to ten days per trip have all played a part in reaching this point as well. When I moved down here, I had more than enough financial support coming in for a single person, which is why we even have a small savings/emergency fund. But when we got married and I put my involvement with human trafficking on hold and ministry for me personally took on a whole new face, understandably, we lost some of that support. Due to the above factors, it's taken us until this year to build back up to that same place and we have still have a ways to go in reaching our support goal financially.

This brings about the very reasonable questions:
what about Miguel's salary, can you cut back on living costs, what about "paying" job opportunities, etc?
In reply:
Miguel's monthly salary is about half of what a teacher makes here and most of it goes back into the ministry work since FCA DR has no operations budget. He has finished university and is officially graduating next weekend with a degree to teach English. Yes, he could easily pick up a teaching job and increase our income substantially, but it would mean completely putting on hold everything he's doing with discipling coaches and athletes - a decision we have not had peace about so far since we clearly believe that he is doing what God has called him to right now. 
Living costs are about half or two-thirds of what they were where I used to live while serving with Destiny Rescue. But we are two people instead of just one so that brings us back up to basically the same line regarding living costs. There have been several times that we've sat down to go over our monthly budgeting and it always boils down to cutting back literally meaning eating less ;) With recent vehicle repairs (I wrote more about this in our newsletter this month) and prenatal bills, we've had more than just the monthly living costs we had last year. But! There are a few people who generously helped us with the extra bills and just last week, we received a needs reimbursement check from the healthcare sharing plan we're a part of. These small but significant details have helped us to break even each month and we always see God more than taking care of us.
A paying job opportunity came in the form of a part-time position with Vida Plena, a ministry dedicated to providing dignified employment, artisan trade skills, and micro-financing to women who otherwise are mostly untrained, thus have difficulty being able to provide for their families. They needed help with their admin and accounting and the phone call came right in the middle of all our vehicle stories! With my flexible schedule, I was able to commit to 3 months, 2 days a week, and it has been such an amazing opportunity. Finances aside, I forgot how much I missed the hands-on aspect of going into an office/workspace and interacting with the people who are being served. Overseeing admin for FCA DR from home has it's definite advantages. Assisting ATB mostly from home and only attending periodic meetings, less than once a month, has had those same advantages. But I have missed the daily, messy beauty of direct involvement. To continue answering this question, once getting back from furlough/maternity leave, this opportunity would still be available and they've even offered to help with fundraising so that the salary would be at a full-time income level. The drawback is that the workshop is 45 minutes from where we live and with a baby, we simply have no idea yet how life will look by then.

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Ok, deep breath.

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Again, publicly putting all this out there in no way is meant to undermine and diminish all the amazing things that have taken place this year already! More than ever, we find the positive in walking through difficulties as we see God's character shine and we find a deeper intimacy with Him individually and as a couple.
We do, however, believe in being honest and as transparent as possible, which sometimes means revealing the raw and uninteresting parts.
If you've read this far, hopefully capturing what we're trying to relay, we have two burdens we ask you to share with us. 
1. Direction.
I've jokingly said we have everything planned out until this baby comes, then I have no idea what we'll come back to. Life after furlough may return to the same, but will likely look completely different - especially for me. One thing I do know, I won't be able to keep everything on my plate that's currently on there. It may mean I don't "do" anything other than care for our son and home and this is a point I'm still struggling with. It's meant relearning everything about 'being' more than 'doing', not feeling the need to justify who I am by what I do, and capturing the truth of family being our first ministry.
2. Financial provision.
More than just being able to make ends meet. This year, each month that closed with us we thinking the next month would mean wiggle room again, something happened (usually vehicle related).


We are so grateful for people who constantly pour into us, encourage and uplift us where it's tough, and rejoice with us where there is reason to celebrate. Vulnerability aside, writing this has been difficult because there is SO MUCH good in our lives!! And I never want to bury the truth of God's grace, faithfulness, and goodness towards us. It's hard to know how to end this post - I want to make a list of all that good but somehow feel that it would deter from what I've been trying to write about.

Through all this, I've found a new understanding of 2 Timothy 4:7-8. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." We have no guarantee of a life of ease, yet difficulty doesn't somehow make us more worthy of heaven. The point is whether or not I am one of the "all who have loved his appearing."

Choosing Gratitude

2019 started off a little quietly, which is why the blog has been quiet. The past month, however, has been packed full of so many things that I keep on delaying writing an update because of wanting to wait until "this next thing" is done so I can include that as well! Meaning, this is probably going to be a bit long-winded so buckle in ;) 

When we got married, we picked the "alternative year method" when it comes to where we celebrate Christmas and New Year. I've talked about this before - spending a Christmas season in the States one year and the following one in the DR. Since this past year was DR year, the season was more relaxed with no traveling other than locally. It didn't seem as full of all the adrenaline as I'm used being associated with Christmas and New Year, so by the time January rolled around, we were nicely rested up and very ready to dig back in to work and ministry.
I sent out a brief newsletter that month basically just recapping the vision trip we were able to host for FCA DR (four guys from TX came to see the ministry and we took them to four of the cities FCA is active in) and then adding our summer schedule at the end. It wasn't enough to really blog about, so I decided to just wait to hop back on here until things pick up a little.

February was similar to January with Miguel settling into a daily ministry and work routine, as well as finally getting his thesis assignment that he'd been waiting on from his university. He and a group of two more graduates have been working on that project part-time; he's also back in Santo Domingo every Saturday for evaluation classes as part of his graduate work.
We had someone come for a quick 24 hour trip to arrange some details for a basketball camp that will be taking place in Boca Chica this summer, but that was the only traveling or hosting we did that entire month.

This brings us to March, which has been a jam-packed month so far. It's been one of those months where so much has happened that I can hardly believe it's not even over yet!
February 28th, after our mid-week local church service, we packed up our car with 2 week's worth of clothes and headed to Boca Chica. At 4 AM (after only a few hours of sleep) we met up with four other FCA leaders to catch an early morning flight to the beautiful land of Guatemala!! I especially had been greatly anticipating this trip since last year when we found out that FCA's International Capacity Conference would be held there. It had been three years since I'd been able to visit the country that will always hold a special place in my heart, and I was overjoyed that Miguel could finally go as well to see and experience all the things I talk about so much! What made the trip even more memorable was being able to take some of our team members along, two of which had never left the DR before.
We landed before noon and had plenty of time to get situated and some food into our stomachs before the evening opening session. Those first three days were spent with 40+ other Latin America leaders for FCA's first ever Latin American Ministry Conference.
LAMC was one of the brighter highlights of the entire Guatemala trip since everyone spoke Spanish and the cultural divide was less noticeable (I say brighter highlight because the entire trip was fantastic!). Our Dominican team was so encouraged to be able to see, face to face, and get to know personally other men (and a few women) who are also sharing the Gospel and making disciples through the avenue of sports. The days were packed so full of sessions and workshops that we weren't sure whether or not we'd have enough brain capacity for ICC the following five days! And even though Latinos are known to run late (later than most of the rest of the world), we also know how to make the time count and quickly become like family. All in all, it was a great success for the first time.

Waiting to board our first flight at 6 in the morning after little to no sleep required having a backpack full of snacks on hand :). 

David, one of our leaders, was asked to share in a ministry forum for LAMC along with four other FCA leaders from four other countries.

I was given the task of sharing on strategies and models for hosting effective international team/mission trips during one of the many workshops.

Miguel, the human selfie stick, took a picture of a bunch of the Latino craziness and camaraderie on Sunday before we headed over to ICC to join with the rest of the international leaders from all over the world.

Miguel found his twin ;) Jairo was randomly assigned to our table at LAMC and then also at ICC the following 5 days - they just couldn't get rid of eachother! For reference sake, he's shorter than I am.

ICC 2019 was held in the beautiful city of Antigua, Guatemala. The hotel we stayed at had a beautiful view of the 3 volcanoes outside of the city (one of which is still active). Miguel to the amusement of the Guatemalans, says he loved Guate but disliked the volcanoes! This picture was taken right outside our room on a clear day.

Miguel and Alvis (one of the other DR teammates) were invited to play soccer with the other Latinos who play soccer as much as Dominicans play baseball. I went along to watch one night and was slightly surprised and duly impressed by his scoring abilities. :D

ICC had several hours of downtime scheduled each day (thankfully!) so on Tuesday we walked/hiked up to the cross that overlooks the city along with my friend Rachel who lives in Antigua. That's Miguel and me in the forefront under the cross's base.

Wednesday afternoon was outing day. The 5 guys went zip-lining with about half the group while I went to tour a coffee plantation with the other half. I had to miss out on the obviously more fun one because, pregnancy. But the plantation experience was educational with delicious samples at the end, so not a waste! 

Miguel finally found a chair that allows his feet to dangle.

FCA DR and FCA Africa
Meeting leaders from all over the world who have the same focus of discipleship ministry through the avenue of sports was beyond encouraging. It was also positively challenging and inspiring to learn from one another and connect as one body in Christ.

FCA World.
110 leaders from 42 countries attended ICC this year. The theme was the Leader's Journey containing sessions on self leadership, leading others, leading teams, and organizational leadership. Plus, more sessions on core values, ministry expansion, and general ministry equipping and encouragement. 


Miguel and I were able to extend our trip to stay the weekend once FCA conferences were done. Friday morning we packed up the other four DR teammates and sent them, with their hearts overflowing, with the rest of the large group to the airport to catch their flights back home. One of the team members from the vision trip in January, that I mentioned above, who came down through FCA in TX, personally donated 200 copies of the Purple Book, one of the main resources we use here when beginning one-on-one discipleship! Others from TX donated around 60 more copies (with more coming) of another FCA resource we have been in need of for this year. So each of the six of us had to strategically pack our bags to be able to take back all this literature; we each ended up with 50 lbs. in our check bags (including clothes and other personal items)!

After we bade our good-byes, Miguel and I headed over to my friend Rachel's house to spend the rest of Friday and all day Saturday with her. We had been roommates for almost a year in Chichicastenango when I served with Pray America/Manos de Jesus. The year after I moved to the DR, she moved to Antigua to go on staff with a new church plant and has been there since. Needless to say, it was wonderful catching up with her again! Miguel thought he had caught a cold, which actually turned out to be allergies, so he spent some of that time getting caught up on rest, fluids, and vitamins after the late nights/early mornings of the conferences. It didn't deter him from making dinner for us on Saturday night, though!

 

I kept leaving my phone at home, so I didn't grab pictures of the cute place we went to get donuts on Friday night or the ruins and museum we toured on Saturday (Miguel has those on his phone but he's at university right now).

Sunday morning, we grabbed a shuttle from Antigua to travel the 3 hours up into the mountains to Chichicastenango and spend a meager 24 hours at Monte Flor - my home for almost a year and a half and place that I always truly love to go back to. We arrived just in time to crash the morning missionary church gathering where I used to lead worship. The many hugs and familiar faces warmed my heart so much! Everyone loved meeting Miguel, who they had their eyes on from a distance via social media for the past 3 years.
Some of my missionary friends, Erv and Sally York, run a prenatal care clinic (along with other things) 20 minutes further up into the mountains in one of the communities I used to go to with Henry and Gloria to visit sponsor families. She offered to do an anatomy scan for us, so after lunch and chatting with the sweet kitchen ladies who I used to teach new recipes/cooking tips to, we spent a few hours at the York's mountain home, catching up on missionary life and answering Miguel's many questions (he always loves asking questions!).
Their daughter, Sarah, and one of the Manos de Jesus staff, Keri, sweetly offered to do a gender reveal for us based on Sally's scan results. Miguel has insisted from day one that it's a boy and he was proven right!

Monday morning, I kept introducing Miguel to the many staff/my former coworkers - I don't think he'll keep any of the names straight without pictures, but now he has people that match the names I talk about so often! We even had an hour or so to sit down with the Koetsiers (currently the main missionaries with Manos de Jesus) and discuss ministry updates and answer more of Miguel's questions. Even though the conferences and Antigua were beyond amazing, these 24 hours were my personal Guate trip highlight. I keep saying if God tells us to move back and Miguel is convinced, I'd pack my bags tomorrow.
Over the past 3 years of living the Dominican life, this island has become home. The culture has become familiar, I absolutely love our life here, the church family we have, and community we are a part of. But the mountains of Chichi and the country of Guatemala will always be home to me, even if I never live there again. And I was so grateful to be able to be there for just a tiny little bit. It brought my heart joy!

This should be the end of this blog post. Should be ;) But, remember when I said this past month has been jam-packed? Oh, I wasn't only referring to the first two weeks in Guatemala. Keep reading to understand the title of this blog post!

We left Guatemala late Monday afternoon, March 11th, and after a layover in Panama, landed in Boca Chica at 1 AM on Tuesday, March 12th.
Our friends the Heberts had visited us last year in June and would love to make an annual trip here, much to our delight. This year, open dates just so happened to land on a week in March - arriving March 12th to be exact. They knew ahead of time that we would be coming home from a two-week trip that morning and the first few days would likely be low-key, especially for me. But we were ok with it as long as they were. We caught a few hours of sleep at Miguel's mom's house before heading back home around 6:30 that morning; we both preferred to sleep a few more hours in our own bed before heading to the Punta Cana airport to pick up the Heberts.
Wednesday and Thursday were unpacking and grocery shopping days while the guys went out to the baseball fields. Friday morning I was supposed to have my monthly prenatal check-up, as well as get an official second trimester anatomy scan done (since Sally was unable to print off the results of her scan). Thursday evening, after church, the Heberts filled us in on an inflammation flare-up he was dealing with that day, so we decided to take him with us to the clinic the next morning to get it checked out. She was originally going to go with me to the appointment while Miguel had planned to take Friday off as his first rest-day since being back and to prepare for Saturday's classes, but to make sure that I didn't miss my turn at the Dr. and the Heberts weren't left without a translator, the four of us headed out shortly before 6:30 Friday morning.
We didn't have cash on hand for my appointment so we stopped in at an ATM - which happened to be out of cash. So, we headed to a second ATM about halfway to the clinic (only 10 minutes, give or take, from our house) - which also happened to be out of cash. When Miguel got out of the car at the second ATM, I noticed that the engine seemed to have turned off, but assumed he had turned the key out of habit. When he got back in, no money in hand, ready to head to a third ATM even closer to the clinic, the car refused to start. He hadn't turned the key when he got out, instead the engine turned off itself and refused to start again. In February we had something similar happen a few times in a week, but the car usually started again within 5 minutes. A mechanic had looked at it and said it was just a loose connector that could be fixed by a zip-tie to keep the two pieces tightly connected, which seemed to work.
We don't know if this problem started last month already, but the car was acting the same way. No other symptoms, just randomly turning off and this time, not starting up again no matter how long we waited or what we fiddled with under the hood. By this time, it was around 7 o'clock so Miguel called our friend who had helped us find a good mechanic last time. He had to drop his daughters at school and daycare then would be able to swing by around 8. In the meantime, we called our pastor to see if he could give us a ride to the clinic. I was sure I'd be arriving too late to make my appointment without a full day's wait (here, you show up early and take a number, then once the Dr. comes in, you take your turn in line) but we could at least make sure the Heberts were taken care of and maybe even get my sonogram done.
When we arrived at the clinic, the ER was quiet and they could examine him right away, thankfully, but the doctor who did the initial exam ended up saying he'd have to get his superior to fully confirm what the infection was and what antibiotics to use. So, while we waited for 8 o'clock to come around and the "big" doctor to arrive, I headed upstairs to see if there was still a chance to grab a number at my Dr's office - only to find she was on vacation until close to the end of the month! Determined to not make it a wasted trip (there are clinics closer to our house that we could have gone to for urgent care) I took a number for the sonogram room.
Less than an hour later, the Heberts were squared away with a few medications for him that were supposed to help for the rest of their stay and the phone number of the "big" doctor in case we needed anything else. More friends of ours from church were able to give the Heberts a ride back to our house while I waited another hour or two for my sonogram.
Miguel hadn't charged his phone overnight, so while I was at the clinic, his phone died and I didn't know what the diagnosis was on the car other than needing to be towed to the shop. The sonogram went well, thankfully, and Mini T looked as healthy as ever. While I waited on our friends to come back and pick me up, Miguel swung by to grab his ATM card I had taken and said it looked like a $100 repair job with some fuses that would hopefully be resolved by noon.
At the end of the day, Miguel spent a full 12 hours with the car, some of it on the side of the road and most of it at the mechanic's shop. After the fuses were fixed and the car started up again, the voltage was running too high indicating an alternator problem, which they could fix. The mechanic bill wasn't outrageous or unreasonable, and in US terms even comparatively cheap, but it was high enough that we would have to take a bit out of our meager savings account to cover it and still make the rest of our monthly bills.
This was where it hit me. We had intentionally not touched that savings account since we were married, even though the past few months have been tight after using our cushion funds to finish the rental house in Boca Chica. We had offhandedly nicknamed it our baby fund, knowing that we would likely need to use it down the road and not wanting to touch it before then.
Saturday morning came around and I needed to drop the guys off at the bus station since Miguel had university classes in Santo Domingo. As soon as I started the car, I knew something was majorly wrong. When it had turned off the day (and a few weeks) before, there weren't any symptoms of a problem, but this time it gave every indication that there was something wrong with the alternator and I was sure we'd end up needing to change the entire thing. On the way to and back from the bus station (15-20 min. round trip) the car shut off 3 times - thankfully always starting right back up again.
We ladies ditched our beach plans for the day. Our friend came out with the mechanics who worked on it in front of our house for a few hours. A wire in the alternator had shorted out and because of that the battery ended up boiling, so while the mechanics were free (guarantee on their work from the day before) we now had to buy a new battery before it was road worthy - which cost as much as the mechanic's bill from the day before.

That day, I went into my room and cried. And in the exact moment that the tears started, I started thanking God. Now, I don't always do this, even though I should, but somehow in the middle of the tears, the phrase from the movie "Facing the Giants" kept playing over and over in my head, "If we win, we praise Him. If we lose, we praise Him." Surprisingly it wasn't hard to start making a list of all the things we have to be so extremely grateful for - church family and friends who drop things and rearrange their busy day to help us when we need it; a savings account, however small it may be, to cover unplanned emergencies; the Heberts who took us on an outing on Monday to go whale-watching (something I've been wanting to do for the past 3 years and would have missed again this year had we waited another week); family back home who knew what was going on and praying for us; not having to replace the alternator!; a healthy, active, growing little son who has already brought us so much joy in the past 20 weeks while we wait to meet him face to face; food on the table; a roof over our house; so many, many things.

20 weeks! We're halfway there already :D

Gratitude. It's something I have found I need to choose. And when I do, I find one of the keys to joy.