Terrero Life Update

It's been a while since I've done one of these! We've sent out a few newsletters in between past, sparse blogposts, and Miguel does an excellent job keeping everyone updated on social media. But sitting down and writing a general blog update has kept getting pushed to the back burner for me. 

I tend to chalk up neglecting my blog to new seasons of life. Can anyone relate? I've considered revamping the entire thing and republishing it more as a website for our family, but I don't want to make that investment of time until we turn the corner into the next season. 

Since the beginning of 2021 (see corresponding pictures at the end):

1. I took an extended weekend trip by myself in Jan. to FL to see my mom and sisters. 

2. In Mar. we found out baby #2 is on the way! 

3. Miguel took a two week work trip by himself in Mar./Apr. to MI because...

4. We bought a larger vehicle. The process was started before we found out about #2, but it conveniently all happened around the same time.

5. We found a house, five doors down on the same street, to work towards buying. Story details detailed in the next blogpost (coming soon).

6. At the invitation and generosity of a supporting church, we took a two week ministry trip as a family in Aug. to the greater Atlanta area. 

7. When we came back from Atlanta, we found out baby #2 is another BOY!!

So, when I say "turn the corner into the next season," I'm referring to waiting until we've moved, gotten through the few teams we have booked for this summer, finished details on the new house, traveled to OH, birthed the baby, enjoyed the holidays, and settled back in at home next year! haha! (I'll reevaluate then how to move forward with the revamping blogging/website idea.) I do plan (hope?) to hop on here, in the meantime, with updates on the house and our family, for our own sake, at least. 

I wanted a big part of this update to center around the house we're currently in the process of buying. It's been quite the journey (is buying a house ever an easy thing?), and I need to get it into writing before forgetting all the details. But, as I was writing it all out, I realized capturing everything in writing would turn into much more than one post can handle, so I've split that out into a second part (coming soon). 

To conclude this post, I have some optional reading below as a prequel to the house buying adventure. 

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We've talked a lot in person about how finding our rental house was such an answer to prayer back in 2017. We knew we wanted to move to Higuey as soon as possible after getting married. We had a long list of specific criteria we were praying for in a place, which mostly boiled down to the following, in no special order:

1. Miguel wanted a house, not an apartment. (I didn't object!)

2. Any place needed to have some kind of outdoor space for our dog. A bonus would be to have some grass and enough space for a small garden.

3. I wanted a decent sized kitchen, which can be hard to find around here. We knew our house would be a ministry tool for us to host people, which meant we'd be cooking a lot. 

4. It needed to be a place with at least two bedrooms so we could always have an extra space to offer to anyone temporarily in need or any out of town/country visitors/family. 

5. It needed to be within our budget of $250 a month, at the time. 

6. Any place we moved to needed to be in a safe part of town. 

We had looked at over 20 places total - Miguel by himself when he was in town doing ministry or both of us together when we came twice to look at options. (We lived about 40 min. away in an apartment at the time.) On our second weekend looking for places together, we stopped in to see our pastor and his wife for a minute to express our frustrations. With all those places, there was always something to keep us from wanting to rent them: they were in an iffy part of town, too small, apartments with no outdoor space, or too expensive. There was one first-floor apartment that we could have been ok with, but the kitchen was super tiny and Miguel really wanted a house. We were tired and discouraged and didn't know where to keep looking! 

Our pastor's family had moved to town less than a year before that and were able to, not only, give us the number of the rental agent who helped them find their house, but also, give him a call right then to let him know what we were looking for. Within an hour, the new rental agent met up with us to show us two places. When we pulled up to the first place, Miguel and I looked at each other before we even got out of the car and said, "This is it." The agent explained he wouldn't have the keys to open the place until the next day, so it wasn't even listed yet as available to rent, but we could take a look around the property and see through the windows. We paid the deposit before leaving town that day! We like to say Miguel said "yes" to the mango trees in the back and I said "yes" to the big kitchen I saw through the windows.

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Pictures:

1. Jan. in FL.

We were all together for the first time in three years.  

2. Pregnancy announcement 

 

3. Apr., Miguel (back from) MI

A bonus of Miguel's trip to MI was being able to bring back a big batch of baseballs donated for our coaches. Getting them here and/or shipped here is almost twice the price. 

We were overjoyed to have Daddy home again after a long two weeks without our favorite man!

4. "New" car

7 passenger, vs. our former 5 passenger, with lots of extra space. So, 14 passenger Dominican style? 

5. Buying a house

This initiative is how our fundraising started. Now, we've raised over $28,000! The papers should be ready to sign next week.

 

6. Atlanta in June

Kai LOVED his first time back at the airport and on a plane in almost a year!

We took over 90 lbs. of coffee with us to sell/fill pre-orders for our house fundraising initiative. 

Kai was thrilled with all the pool time we got at several different gracious hosts' places. He was made for pool life or pool life was made for him ;)

As per usual, Miguel cooked a traditional meal at (almost) each place we stayed.

We were busy being so spoiled and well taken care of, we barely remembered to take pics. the whole two weeks. But, thankfully, someone in this bunch remembered to take one as we were saying good-bye, and it will be a treasured one for years! We miss doing life with the Tantons and loved every second of the one, short day we got to spend with them.  

7. Halfway to welcoming baby boy

We can't wait to meet you, Little T  <3

Silent Saturday

No, today isn't Saturday. (Well, unless you're reading this on a Saturday :p). And yes, we're past Easter 2021 now But the urge in my heart to write this has only gotten stronger, so, here we go. 

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This past Friday, I saw many reminders of, "It's Friday but Sunday is coming." with messages of hope and reminders that the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Savior was coming. And on Sunday, of course, I saw many messages of celebratory reminders of our risen Lord, the fulfillment of the Gospel! These days both held vital, good reminders for me, and I didn't pass over them lightly. Something about Saturday got me this year, though. 

On Saturday, I woke up thinking of how the disciples might have felt the morning after - the morning after they watched their Teacher, Friend, Lord, Messiah get nailed to a cross and cry out his final breath, "It is finished." The ache their hearts must have felt as the numbing shock of Friday began turning into the gut punches and cutting pain of loss. The ringing in their ears with the finality of that cry. 

Peter remembering his betrayal on Thursday, his despair and desperation for a miracle on Friday, trying to grapple with the sheer hopelessness that his life now seemed to be on Saturday. 

Somewhere in the recesses of their minds, they must have remembered that Jesus tried to tell them His death wouldn't be the end, but our human brains can only handle so much. Some probably thought He was trying to tell them a miracle would happen and on Friday, up until the very last moment, they held their breaths, willing Him to come down off that cross in a triumphant show. Reality says death is the end. This is why Peter tried to stop Jesus from saying He would die, because if He didn't say it, it might not happen. 

I've personally walked through the grief and pain of loss, and this is why I think Saturday must have been worse than Friday. On Friday, there was still a chance. On Saturday, Jesus was gone and reality settled into His vacancy. 

So, why wait? Why did God wait? Why not resurrect the Son on Saturday morning? 

There are theological reasons for this waiting - important ones - that I won't dive into right now. Because knowing with our minds the reason for this waiting, I think, often causes us to miss a little nugget buried in the waiting that we need to grasp with our hearts. The disciples felt utter despair.

They loved much and they lost much, and Saturday they were left to grapple with that. 

So many circumstances give us so many reasons to give up, to despair, to let go of all hope. We are bombarded with realities that there is no way out, no way through, no reason to live, no one left to love or to love us, nothing to fight for. And why should we have any reason to hope? 

We have a reason because of Saturday. 

Saturday. The day when nothing made sense; the day the world was upside down; the day darkness laughed and it seemed like Satan had actually won; the day of questioning whether or not anything Jesus had taught them was worth hanging on to. That day. On Saturday. The promise of the Gospel still stood, even when the disciples couldn't understand it. 

This - the Saturday it seemed God was silent - is reason for us to hope even on the darkest, deadest night. 

Prince of Peace

There's a New Year's practice encouraged in, what I call, FCA culture - it's encouraged in a lot of other ministries as well, but we actually know the author who wrote the book on this. This practice is to choose One Word for the year. Some people will pray and fast for a while, asking the Lord to bring them their One Word. Others will simply wait for a recurring theme or something that keeps coming to their attention as they go into the new year. Up until this year, I tended to be of a different camp. Instead of choosing a word for the year, I like to wait until the end of the year, then take time to reflect on what transpired during the course of that year and find a word that was a recurring theme - so, reflection vs. anticipation. For 2021 however, I find myself joining the anticipation camp, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it will change my perspective as the year rolls out. 

My One Word is one I stumbled on - no fasting; I did offer up a few prayers but, truthfully, not with much intentionality on this particular topic; no looking for a recurring theme; none of the "usual" habit making ways. Next year I'll probably enlist more of those good habits, but I don't think my stumbling upon method will make my One Word less significant. 

Peace.

Isaiah 9:6 says, "For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Some days it feels like the whole world is holding its breath, waiting with anticipation for the end of 2020 to arrive and bring with it a deep sigh of relief. This month, I've heard whisperings tainted with fear of "but what if that relief doesn't come? how long can this go on?" When I read that passage recently, I was struck - pierced - with how much we need the Prince of Peace right now and how we are being called to embrace more closely that part of Jesus. To breath in Him. His peace is one that surpasses human understanding, going into the deep crevices and washing out the uncertainty. He is true peace and is what we need to grab on to and carry with us into 2021.

"Now may the God of peace— who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood—may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen."

~Hebrews 13:20-21

Marriage with Baby

Ok, I'm going to be brutally honest here for a minute. Marriage plus parenting is much harder than marriage pre-baby. Period. 

I heard you, just now - the ones who insist it's not that different, as long as you make sure to do x, y, and z; as long as you get past the first 6 months; as long as you continue to prioritize date night; as long as you establish rhythms; as long as you define expectations and roles; as long as you remember your spouse is your best friend; or as long as you do a host of other things - mostly very good things! I'm just here to say, although my husband and I are not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, we have and continue to build and grow healthy habits for our marriage and family. But - the brutal truth remains. Marriage plus parenting is hard!

That list of suggestions, recommendations, guidelines, commandments - however you want to call them - to follow to ensure a healthy marriage while parenting doesn't work quite like my weekly to-do list does. Oh, believe me, I've tried! In our relationship, I'm the task-list oriented one; the one who keeps us on track in our goals, does periodic evaluations of whether or not we are still on track, and, if not, what we need to change to get back on track! My husband, on the other hand, is the relationship driven one; the who keeps our priorities straight and remembers the simple day to day moments are just as important in fulfilling our long term vision as is keeping track of our goals. We work together well; we compliment each other's strengths, work together on our weaknesses, and generally just enjoy doing life together.

Before I got pregnant, we had timelines and goals in mind to make sure our marriage was in a good place to add another human being to the mix. Granted, there is never the perfect time to have a baby (one can always find an excuse why it might be better to wait, either financially or otherwise), but there were certain things we wanted to have in place first, including ample time together just as a married couple. We sought wisdom and input from other couples whose marriages and families/parenting styles we admire and want to learn from. All that to say, I was as prepared as I could be when our marvel of a son came along and the journey of parenthood began. Prepared enough to know I will never know everything, and the best strategy is to take it one day at a time on most days.

We both LOVE being parents! I was one of those women who was fully prepared to struggle with loving being a mom. I wanted kids, don't get me wrong. It's just that I have places to be and things to do, and I was afraid that being primarily a stay at home mom (something that is important to us for our family) would be a big challenge for me to fully embrace. I definitely have my moments of feeling like I'm not always fulfilling my potential, but the simple fact of being a mom has been so much easier and more fun than I ever anticipated! 

So. According to my check-list of understanding, we should sailing along quite smoothly right now:

Compatible as a couple - check

Prioritize our marriage - check

Love being parents - check

Establish rhythms and healthy habits - check (usually ;) )

It's been a short 14 months of marriage with baby, and looking back, there has never been one big thing, or even a series of things, that seems to stand out and give me reason to point a finger at. Pre-baby, we used to rarely argue and were able to work through conflict pretty well. Marriage with baby has found us having to deal with more tension, more conflict, more arguments than before. There is the fact that we spent more than 6 non-consecutive months traveling, not living at home or even having our own space in that timespan. There is also the "little" detail of Miguel taking on a new ministry role and going through the equivalent of a giant career advancement. There is the also the fact that we were dealing with stressful paperwork processes and financial stuff. But these are all things that, pre-baby, wouldn't have been anything to stand out, so I don't see cause to point a finger at them now.

What is it then? Have we simply gotten past the "honeymoon phase"? I hate that expression - truly! 

I'm a realist. I know what role endorphins and other hormones play during dating and engagement and so on and so forth. But I also know that I still grin and feel butterflies in my tummy every time my husband walks through the door after work, or sometimes even just when I think about him walking through the door after work. We're firm believers that marriage can be a lifetime of fun doing boring stuff together!

Recently, my ever task oriented, let's fix it, perfection driven brain has been on the hunt for the answer and a solution to 'go back to how it was'. However much I can honestly say parenting has been easier, so far, than either of us expected (our son really is the best little thing ever!), I've found myself needing to accept the fact that it does make marriage harder. We're pouring time, energy, and attention into raising our child well; and although I don't think we've been doing any part of it wrong, that is time, energy, and attention not given to each other. Time, energy, and attention we used to have only for each other is now divided, and it's not a bad thing! It can be a difficult thing, though. 

The truth I've found, as I've sought out an answer, is that I don't actually want to go back to how it was. Marriage before baby was sweet, but after baby it's become even sweeter. When I was pregnant, someone told me that parenting will be the best thing my husband and I will ever do together. That parenting is pulling each other close, working through puzzles and challenges together, and celebrating the wins. She told me this right in the middle of so many others telling us the famous "just wait until ___" lines, and I've held onto her words more tightly than she'll ever know. I always say I've fallen in love with my husband all over again watching him be a father, so why would I want to go back to less lovin'? 

Do I want less tension? Of course. My answer to helping with that has been finding ways to better keep centering my own soul in Christ. Finding tips specifically for moms in my stage of mommyhood has been helpful with this. When I'm at peace, my home is at peace. When I'm at conflict with myself, my home and marriage suffer the consequences. Are these things my head knew before? Yes. But, that's life, isn't it? Embracing the broken, strengthening through the messy, and growing in grace.

And thank God for a rock star of a husband to do it all with!

Endurance

My alarm went off at 6:00 on a Monday morning. I was expecting it and had actually been lying there awake for a few minutes already. I hopped out of bed and started my routine preparations for the 18 km bike ride I go on with two neighbor ladies every morning at 6:30 during the workweek. 

I was excited for this particular ride because I had missed half of the week prior due to a teething, feverish toddler who'd spent the nights fitfully and the days pasted to my hip. That weekend, we had a tropical storm blow through which caused power outages for both nights. When this happens, we move our toddler's collapsible crib to the living room, for the night, where there are more windows and better airflow. Not wanting to wake him, I headed out the back door and circled around our house to enter our front porch from the outside to grab my bike. 

It was still a few minutes before our regular start time, so I sat on our front steps, waiting for my friend who lives behind me to pass by on her bike. With it being a morning after a storm, she hadn't been sure how the weather would be at 6:30 and was late enough starting out that our friend who lives up the road came down to see if we were ready and what the delay was. I told her our companion just needed a few extra minutes, so we waited together by my front gate, making small talk. 

Soon enough, we were off! Three women in very different stages of life. The neighbor who lives behind me is in her 40s, a young grandma and successful business owner, whose family is also a part of our church. We used to bike together in the neighborhood before I got pregnant, so when I asked her a few weeks ago if she'd be interested in riding again, she was as ready to get back at it as I was. The neighbor who lives up the road from us is a young college student, living with her parents, who we'd met on our second week of biking. We wanted to try out the 18 km stretch that runs from our residential area out of town to the highway and she happened to be at the corner the first morning we turned down that road. She didn't have any biking companion so we invited her to join us; she hasn't missed a morning since and has turned us into a fun, dynamic group of three. 

We joke that we ride this route backwards. The ride out of town consists of an easy stretch of mostly flat, slightly downgraded road, with a few downhill slopes. The ride back is where you feel the burn in your legs; that slight downgrade turns into a noticeable gradual upgrade, and those downhill slopes turn into inclines that can seem like actual (tiny) hills to a tired biker. All in all, it's a good run - a good mixture of fast cycling and resistance. Our first time riding it, the route took us an hour and fifteen minutes. By the middle of the previous week (two weeks in), we had shaved it down to an hour, confidant that eventually we'll get it to a forty-five minute ride. 

It had been a total of five days since I'd ridden my bike - three weekdays of a sick toddler plus the two day, stormy, weekend - but I was determined to keep up with my friends. They only had three days on me, how much could that affect their stamina versus mine? I found out around the three-quarter mark when my feet started tingling and my legs started going numb - probably a sign of lack of oxygen because I was breathing hard through my mouth but couldn't seem to take deep enough breaths. Still determined, I didn't let it stop me from rushing up the inclines and keeping up on the upgrades. "Just. Keep. Pedaling." I finally let my pride slide, ever so slightly, and slowed to a cool down before they did. My legs weren't getting enough circulation and I felt like I could throw up. 

My friends waved good-bye as I turned down my road and hopped off my bike, pushing it through the front gate. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me again and heard a buzzing in my ears as I dropped the bike on the walk and shoved my keys into the padlock. "Just turn the key and open the door. You can sit down on the porch chair." But, actually - I couldn't; I rested my forehead on the porch door and couldn't even turn the key. Just the thought of walking up the two steps into the porch was enough to make me consider lying down in the grass and I heard, more than felt, the keys slip out of my hands and drop onto the porch floor, just out of reach. I remembered I left the back door open when I left that morning to avoid potentially waking our toddler. "There are no steps in the back and the recliner is right inside. Just leave the bike here on the walk and let Miguel take it in. Need. To. Sit. Down!" I don't remember the last time I sweated so much or felt so faint from overexertion - probably not since the first time I decided to run up a mountain in Guatemala, years ago. So much for "missing five days shouldn't be a big deal". 

My alarm went off at 6:00 on Tuesday morning. I was expecting it but decided an extra 10 minutes in bed might help me accumulate a little more energy for the morning's ride. The previous morning back on my bike, despite my overexertion, paid off and I actually had no problem keeping up for most of the way, maintaining much better breathing. But those inclines were getting to me again and I fell behind on a few of them, not willing to relive the near fainting. "Keep up, Rose, come on." As I internally chastised myself, another voice started whispering in my brain. Rather than pay attention to it, I pushed up the incline and sped up to catch up with my friends, just in time to hit the next one - the one most resembling a small hill. "Ugh!" once again I fell behind, trying to wisely pace myself but getting irritated that my stamina just wasn't cutting it. I peaked at the top and, again, tried speeding up. "C'mon, catch up!" 

"You don't have to catch up" it was that other voice again, this time more persistent, so I paid more attention. "You don't have to catch up - just endure. You just have to keep going." A wave of life-giving conviction washed over me, the feeling tangible enough that I caught myself smiling. Of course. I don't NEED to catch up. Isn't it better for me to just keep going and make it home without needing to physically keep myself from falling off the bike? 

I don't do very well in the area of giving myself grace, even when surround by in-my-face facts. Facts such as: 

• My toddler still wakes up once or twice a night, meaning I don't sleep as solidly or rest as fully as my biking companions. 
• I still hadn't recuperated from the sleep deprivation from the week before 
• My biking companions had three full days of biking this route without me and I hadn't done any cardio for five days straight - it really does make a difference, especially in stamina!

These are just facts of my life, things I get used to and don't like to cite as excuses. But that Tuesday morning, I was given the gift of a reminder that grace is for me, too. 

And, it is for you, too!

The root of this reminder can be found in Hebrews 12:1-2a (I really like how the Amplified version puts it):

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who by faith have testified to the truth of God’s absolute faithfulness], stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity]...

Endurance and active persistence. Focusing our eyes on Jesus. 

You don't have to catch up to that person you think is so far ahead of you in their walk (or should we say run?) with God. You just need to endure, to persist, to make your focus Jesus. Jesus, the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity. 

HE is the goal. Eternity with Him, the prize. 

How much of Him are we missing trying to keep up with everyone else?