The Road of Singleness - Part 1

"Congratulations!!!"
A word that seems to be in my vocabulary a lot these days. Engaged. Married. Pregnant. The weird part for me is realizing that some of these friends are my age or younger. It makes me feel old...

Three of my siblings and one of my life-long best friends got married within a 2 1/2 years' span in the last 3 years. During that time up to the present, a lot (tho not all) of my friends-since-the-teen years have gotten married or are in serious relationships heading that way. It's a normal occurrence to hear "such and such are finally dating - you know what that means" or "did you know 'recently married' just found out they're pregnant?"
Weddings - every year. And I often have the privilege of helping out with, pretty much, any given job. I've decided to check into becoming a wedding-planner because of all the mental notes I've taken at friends' weddings on how certain things could be done a little differently to fit different tastes. Plus, I love organizing and making order out of chaos! Trust me. If a wedding isn't planned well, it's very chaotic. I know!

Me? I'm 20 years old. Never had a boyfriend. Yup! No, I don't feel left out. And I don't look at every single guy out there as a potential future significant other (or even potential date, for that matter), either.
But, you see, I'm a little strange - well, out-of-the-norm anyway! I'm one of those singles. One of those who...

1. Gets annoyed at people who think I don't have a life

I wholeheartedly agree with blogs written by some of those other singles asking 'the rest of the world' to please just realize that we are happy right where we're at and not all of us are walking around feeling lost or incomplete.

2. Would be ok (seriously, definitely ok!) with never getting married

I've balked at the very idea of me (me?) ever getting married. Seriously - there's so much to see and do that is easier (and better?) without having to take another person into consideration. Yes, that's a kind of selfish way of thinking, but... it's true isn't it? Beyond that, though, I have so much more time to dedicate to my relationship with Christ than if I'd have a significant other.

3. Likes my life the way it is - so why change it?

If I would be in a committed (human) relationship, I'd have to re-prioritize my time, thinking, plans, etc. - basically, my whole life. Why would I want to change a life I thoroughly enjoy for one that's filled with examples of how hurtful two people can be to one another?

Now, at this point, most of those 'blogs written by some of those other singles' would go into depth explaining how using the time God has given us during this season to learn skills and life principles, pursue goals and dreams, grow spiritually and emotionally, and all kinds of other things that would be (nearly) impossible (or much more difficult) otherwise is actually an amazing experience.
They would, generally, also go further to encourage other singles (the ones who get discouraged when they see all their friends in committed relationships but 'the right one' doesn't seem to be anywhere in their own lives) to put the extra time and energy into becoming 'the right one' and pursuing a relationship with Christ that will outlast any human relationship ever.
Commonly, they would ask the married ones to please realize that we do have a life, then give them some tips on how to relate to singles in an encouraging way without being pushy. They would explain that yes, sometimes it is hard for us to see 'everyone else' walking a path without us, but we are still relatable in other areas of life.

All the above things are great topics worth mentioning and discussing. In fact, I recommend reading several if you've never read 'one of those blogs'. If you're a discouraged single, it will give you great tools to apply to your life where you're at right now. If you're one of those singles, it will let you know you're not too weird or alone, besides giving you great encouragement. If you're a married person, it will give you ways to relate to the singles in your life and open your eyes to some of the struggles (and annoyances) we face. (google it - you'll find something; or ask a single near you - they probably know of one or two)

But, like I mentioned earlier, I'm a little strange. I'll leave those topics and discussions to other singles (or previously singles) who can explain it all much better than I can. I'm gonna take a little detour.
Among many, many other things, God has been teaching me how I've let those three bold-faced definitions define my single life up til this year. And I pray that I can somehow put into words an explanation that opens your eyes to the way we allow ourselves to define who we are instead of letting God define who we are. It's a long road to learning that lesson. It's one that holds many different twists and turns - one that needs to be learned many different times in life in many different ways and areas of life. But I'm hoping that you'll join me for this little detour that will, hopefully, benefit your relationship with Christ the way it has mine.

Although I've titled it 'The Road of Singleness', married people are invited to join! You might find it more interesting than you expect ;)

(Stay tuned for part 2 - coming soon)