If this is your first time visiting my blog -
1. I'm finishing up the last part in a series (of sorts) that doesn't relate to my previous 'normal' blogging
2. You should probably read parts 1 and 2 for everything to make sense
3. My normal posts, so far, are updates on the missions work I'm currently doing in Guatemala
4. Feel free to explore the site for more information on anything!
Getting back to the topic at hand!
Last time -
"...I've never regretted making that commitment and like I said before, gained so much from it - grew in ways I don't know if I could have without it (it was a personal - for me - commitment). I didn't think less of my friends than I should have. My focus wasn't way off - just slightly. But because of that subtle pride-seeping, a little place in my heart became calloused.
... [it] started growing into more. I hid behind who I was defining myself to be - a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. One who could prove that I could do 'it' - that being single is ok.
So much so, that it recently reached the point of going from being 'ok with never getting married' to 'why would I ever even want to get married - what's the point?' "
Continuing -
To address Bold-Faced Definition Number 3 - "...[I'm] one of those singles who..."
Likes my life the way it is - so why change it?
"What is the point of marriage, God?" (gasp! did she actually ask that?!)
Yes, I did.
I've seen good marriages - the kind where you see husband and wife working as a team, building each other up; the kind where you can't imagine one without the other; the kind that actually makes me want to get married. But sadly, there aren't very many.
Too often I've seen marriages that are more of an existing partnership than a thriving couple.
And I wonder - what's the point?
When I asked that question (not so long ago), I was still defining myself - a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. I was proving that the single life was a good life. I was doing something I loved to do. I had plans for my future and I had dreams to pursue.
I could understand that somewhere along the line, after several years, I would probably feel like something was missing - but, there's so much I want to do! So much that's easier without having to take into consideration someone else's opinion over every single little thing. So much that would actually make more sense and be more convenient as a single person.
Why would I want to change a life I thoroughly enjoy for one that's filled with examples of how hurtful two people can be to one another?
After all, the apostle Paul himself was single - look at the great things he accomplished for Christ! He even encouraged singleness (1 Corinthians 7).
"To be an example of how I love you."
Sounds like a simple answer.
But is it really that simple? When men are commanded to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25) it was one of the highest callings...ever. Think about it. Jesus died for His bride - a selfish, runaway bride at that.
Now, I won't go into all the different Scripture passages and references that explain just how selfless marriage is supposed to be and exactly how much it is meant to be a living, breathing reflection of Christ. But I will leave you with this:
Single does not equal incomplete.
It does not mean better.
But it also doesn't mean worse.
Singleness shouldn't be defined as some stage of life that, if you are faithful in 'this season', will be abolished by dreams coming true.
Being single is being a person.
It's true that we live life a bit (quite a bit) differently when we are single than married people do; but marriage shouldn't be some goal to be achieved. Just like rocking the single life shouldn't be some goal that defines our lives!
Rather, "whatever you do, do everything as for the Lord and not for men." - Colossians 3:23.
That's the whole point of life! Married or single.
It doesn't take away the desires, or feelings, or need for God's direction about this particular subject. But it does give a greater purpose to life, no matter what box your status puts you in.
I'm still a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. I'm still competitive, stubborn, and challenge-loving. I'm still doing something I love to do. I still have plans for my future and I still have dreams to pursue. But that's not my defining point anymore.
It all boils down to doing and being what God calls me to. It doesn't matter where the road goes from here. I might end up doing everything I dream of doing. Or I might not.
But, "whatever you do, do everything as for the Lord and not for men." means everything - every. single. little. thing :)
1. I'm finishing up the last part in a series (of sorts) that doesn't relate to my previous 'normal' blogging
2. You should probably read parts 1 and 2 for everything to make sense
3. My normal posts, so far, are updates on the missions work I'm currently doing in Guatemala
4. Feel free to explore the site for more information on anything!
Getting back to the topic at hand!
Last time -
"...I've never regretted making that commitment and like I said before, gained so much from it - grew in ways I don't know if I could have without it (it was a personal - for me - commitment). I didn't think less of my friends than I should have. My focus wasn't way off - just slightly. But because of that subtle pride-seeping, a little place in my heart became calloused.
... [it] started growing into more. I hid behind who I was defining myself to be - a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. One who could prove that I could do 'it' - that being single is ok.
So much so, that it recently reached the point of going from being 'ok with never getting married' to 'why would I ever even want to get married - what's the point?' "
Continuing -
To address Bold-Faced Definition Number 3 - "...[I'm] one of those singles who..."
Likes my life the way it is - so why change it?
"What is the point of marriage, God?" (gasp! did she actually ask that?!)
Yes, I did.
I've seen good marriages - the kind where you see husband and wife working as a team, building each other up; the kind where you can't imagine one without the other; the kind that actually makes me want to get married. But sadly, there aren't very many.
Too often I've seen marriages that are more of an existing partnership than a thriving couple.
And I wonder - what's the point?
When I asked that question (not so long ago), I was still defining myself - a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. I was proving that the single life was a good life. I was doing something I loved to do. I had plans for my future and I had dreams to pursue.
I could understand that somewhere along the line, after several years, I would probably feel like something was missing - but, there's so much I want to do! So much that's easier without having to take into consideration someone else's opinion over every single little thing. So much that would actually make more sense and be more convenient as a single person.
Why would I want to change a life I thoroughly enjoy for one that's filled with examples of how hurtful two people can be to one another?
After all, the apostle Paul himself was single - look at the great things he accomplished for Christ! He even encouraged singleness (1 Corinthians 7).
"To be an example of how I love you."
Sounds like a simple answer.
But is it really that simple? When men are commanded to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25) it was one of the highest callings...ever. Think about it. Jesus died for His bride - a selfish, runaway bride at that.
Now, I won't go into all the different Scripture passages and references that explain just how selfless marriage is supposed to be and exactly how much it is meant to be a living, breathing reflection of Christ. But I will leave you with this:
Single does not equal incomplete.
It does not mean better.
But it also doesn't mean worse.
Singleness shouldn't be defined as some stage of life that, if you are faithful in 'this season', will be abolished by dreams coming true.
Being single is being a person.
It's true that we live life a bit (quite a bit) differently when we are single than married people do; but marriage shouldn't be some goal to be achieved. Just like rocking the single life shouldn't be some goal that defines our lives!
Rather, "whatever you do, do everything as for the Lord and not for men." - Colossians 3:23.
That's the whole point of life! Married or single.
It doesn't take away the desires, or feelings, or need for God's direction about this particular subject. But it does give a greater purpose to life, no matter what box your status puts you in.
I'm still a confident, independent, goal-achieving single woman. I'm still competitive, stubborn, and challenge-loving. I'm still doing something I love to do. I still have plans for my future and I still have dreams to pursue. But that's not my defining point anymore.
It all boils down to doing and being what God calls me to. It doesn't matter where the road goes from here. I might end up doing everything I dream of doing. Or I might not.
But, "whatever you do, do everything as for the Lord and not for men." means everything - every. single. little. thing :)
Well said Sissy pooh!! I'm so proud of the woman of God that you are!
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